Good King Wenceslas rings up a local pizza restaurant to order a pizza.
“Certainly your majesty,” says the manager. “Will it be your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?”
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
The upper crust is a bunch of crumbs held together by dough. - Joseph A. Thomas
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman
Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen
A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. - Aesop
You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri
After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. - P.J. O'Rourke
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson
I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper
Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey
I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle
I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright
The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana
I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi
Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton
I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd
Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund
The upper crust is a bunch of crumbs held together by dough. - Joseph A. Thomas
I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan
Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman
Her face looked like something on the menu in a seafood restaurant. - Woody Allen
A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. - Aesop
You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri
After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard
Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson
Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown
If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown
Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. - P.J. O'Rourke
I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright
No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby
The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes
Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan
Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson
I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper
Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey
I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle
I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor
I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright
The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller
Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump
I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana
I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi
Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton
see also Christmas & Pizza Sections
 France-Is Bacon |  Do Not Touch Sign |  Giant Step For Mankind |  SirLoin |  On This Site in 1897 |
 Ship Shipping Ships |  Seal Survival |  The Power Of Faith |  Jesus Was Here |  Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service |
 Pine Trees Know When It's Easter |  Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church |  Handicap Ramp |  Kick Out Boxing |  Patience and Wisdom |
 Submarine Racing |  Dead Sea Burgers |  Sick Statue |  I Will Never Understand Fashion |  Courtesy Option |
06-Apr-2020 |