Early Christmas Shopping

Charged with early shopping


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”

“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.

“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”

“Before the store opened,” replied the prisoner.


QuotaBills
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit

Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

Lawyers are seldom loved but often needed. - Robert B McKay

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

The trouble with dawn is that it comes too early in the day. - Susan Richman

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. - Martin Luther King

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing. - Archie Bunker

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

Supporting myself at an early age was the best training for life I could have possibly received. - Lea Thompson

A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P Brougham

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Once an organization loses its spirit of pioneering and rests on its early work, its progress stops. - Thomas JWatson

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Do not mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everyone and everything for yourself. - Henry James

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time. - Napoleon Bonaparte

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

A judge who likes every outcome he reaches is very likely a bad judge, stretching for results he prefers rather than those the law demands. - Neil Gorsuch

Lawyers are doubters, skeptics; not in a bad sense. But they never know any thing absolutely and utterly without qualifications or modifications. - G N Tillman


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24-Oct-2021