Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190°F.
The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates.
Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.
A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway.
During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34°F in the refrigerator.
Looking ahead to the next two days, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established.
Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day.
We expect a warming trend where soup develops.
By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.
Chili: Edible weather - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent
Here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock. - William Shakespeare
A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown
Despite the forecast, live like it's spring. - Lilly Pulitzer
Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain
An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill
No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. - St. Ambrose
Weekend forecast: crafting with a chance of chocolate. - Unknown
Envy and greed starve on a healthy diet of thanksgiving. - Billy Graham
A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey. - Dolly Parton
There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti
For all that has been - thanks.
For all that will be - yes. - Dag Hammarskjold
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. - Emo Philips
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. - Unknown
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown
I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith
The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
Thanksgiving is the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. - Michael Dresser
It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr
Stuff: What people do on Thanksgiving: First to the turkey, and then to themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you shouldn't see it. - Samuel Goldwyn
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx
Thanks you for being a part of my life, whether you were a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime. - Unknown
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright
It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil
My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli
We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction. - Harry Ironside
Your majesty, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and Madame Houde thanks you from her bottom too. - Camillein Houde
Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost
Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip
I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson
They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown
Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard
The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young
The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis
Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci
Thanksgiving, Turkey & Weather Sections
Going Cold Turkey
Grandma’s Beautiful Pies
Happy Thanksgiving, Y’all!
How To Cook A Turkey
Ode To A Turkey
Redneck Turkey Shoot
Run, Turkey, Run!
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Thanksgiving Joe-ks 4U
Too Much Turkey
Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork!
’Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
Reach For Your Dreams
Jeopardy Measuring Cup
All We Have To Do Is Stand Up
Chinese Puzzle Car
Always Give 100% At Work
My Toaster Is Broken
The Bugs Are Bad This Year
World's First Hard Hat