For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
A man may learn wisdom even from a foe. - Aristophenes
A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown
Time ripens all things, no man is born wise. - Miguel de Cervantes
Fools look to tomorrow; wise men use tonight. - Scottish Proverb
The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken
Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead. - Robert Lynd
If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. - Sue Grafton
Every man knows he will die but no one wants to believe it. - Yiddish Proverb
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain
Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. - Milton Berle
No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. - C S Lewis
A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. - Mahatma Gandhi
I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. - Henry Miller
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen
No man is lonely while eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. - Christopher Morley
But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated. - Ernest Hemingway
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang
There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the fault of his feet. - Samuel Beckett
A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know. - Laurence J Peter
All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone. - Blaise Pascal
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain
The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way. - Dale Carnegie
Perfection is my motto. Percentage is my middle name. Walk alone and wait for no man. - Unknown
I'm a man. Men have got another thing... they got waddya call, a carnival instinct. - Archie Bunker
The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
What a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is. - C S Lewis
I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it. - Mark Twain
All things will be clear and distinct to the man who does not hurry; haste is blind and improvident. - Livy
Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown
That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history. - Aldous Huxley
The greatest men sometimes overshoot themselves, but then their very mistakes are so many lessons of instruction. - Tom Browne
A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. - G. Gordon Liddy
There comes a stage at which a man would rather die cleanly by a bullet than by the unknown terror of the phantom in the forest. - Tahir Shah
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
 Sharp Sign |  Pulled You Over |  'No Fart Forest' for Extreme Fire Hazards |  Leaf Edge |  Windmill Guitar |
 Redneck Shave |  Coffee Grinds |  Legal Exhibit |  Cattle Breeding |  Study to Fail |
 Light Bulb |  Lifeguard Distancing |  Giant Grasshopper |  Horse Hearse |  Train Boat |
 Yarn Bombing a Bus |  Canned Art |  Bubble Boy |  High Wire Bear Feeder |  Manitoba Thunderstorm |
07-Jul-2020 |