For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
We have not fit men for the times. - John Adams
Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau
No man is a failure who is enjoying life. - William Feather
Some men have been worthy of a better century. - Baltasar Gracian
One man's meat is another man's poison. - Lucretius
Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose. - Baltasar Gracian
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland
For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again. - Proverbs 24:16
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. - Kin Hubbard
A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb
What do you get for a man who has everything? Penicillin. - Henny Youngman
A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot
Work is the easiest activity man has invented to escape boredom. - Unknown
Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future. - Jimmy Carter
A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things. - Herman Melville
The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy. - Henry Brightman
I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain
Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields
What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes. - Samuel Beckett
The test of a man or woman's breeding is how they behave in a quarrel. - George Bernard Shaw
It's harder for a poor man to be successful than it is for a rich man. - Gregory Nunn
I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. - Oscar Wilde
Beware of no man more than of yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. - Charles H Spurgeon
The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose. - James Baldwin
Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world. - Arthur Schopenhauer
No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. - Mark Twain
Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci
Are you a man with a conscience, or just a shark who will die when you stop moving forward? - Roderick Vincent
You must be a man of integrity. Never break your word. Don't have two sets of standards. - Red Auerbach
It is easier for a woman to defend her virtue against men than her reputation against women. - French Proverb
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison
What's a man's age? He must hurry more, that's all
Cram in a day what his youth took a year to hold. - Robert Browning
Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli
To be perfectly just is an attribute of the divine nature; to be so to the utmost of our abilities, is the glory of man. - Joseph Addison
Friendship... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself..." - C S Lewis
I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They are running at me. - Markus Zusak
Not every man can carry a full cup. Sudden elevation frequently leads to pride and a fall. The most exacting test of all is to survive prosperity. - Oswald Sanders
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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24-May-2022 |