For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker
Men are only as loyal as their options. - Bill Maher
The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams
A man is not where he lives, but where he loves. - Latin Proverb
Even in wise men there is more folly than wisdom. - Sebastien Chamfort
Every man is like the company he is wont to keep. - Euripides
When good men die, their goodness does not perish. - Euripides
That man is truly good who knows his own dark places. - Beowulf
The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire
It is part of human nature to hate the man you have hurt. - Tacitus
A wise man will live as much within his wit as his income. - Philip Dormer Stanhope
Measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him. - Unknown
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions. - Leonardo Da Vinci
A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde
Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem
Make no little plans: They have no magic to stir men's blood. - Daniel H Burnham
Why should anybody be interested in some old man who was a failure? - Ernest Hemingway
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
It is wonderful how well men can keep secrets they have not been told. - Winston Churchill
Impotience: Eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. - St. Augustine
If you need something done ask a busy man, no one else will have time to do it. - Unknown
The supreme function of reason is to show man that some things are beyond reason. - Blaise Pascal
You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself. - Galileo Galilei
Perfection is my motto. Percentage is my middle name. Walk alone and wait for no man. - Unknown
To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail. - Abraham Maslow
Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. - George Burns
Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
If a man must be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most. - E.B. White
What was most significant about the lunar voyage was not that men set foot on the moon but that they set eye on the earth. - Norman Cousins
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield
I don't want to be the oldest performer in captivity. I don't want to look like a little old man dancing out there. - Fred Astaire
I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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 Master Reference Binder |  Do You See A Bird or a Girl? |  Car Moochanic |  Wife's Small Mistake |  Redneck TP |
 Backwards Clock |  Redneck House Move |  New World Record Holder |  World's Hardest Golf Shot |  Safe Bike |
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27-Sep-2021 |