Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Bed is the poor man's opera. - Italian Proverb

I set off, off to kill the man I love. - Richelle Mead

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Ask God for what man can give, and you may get it. - European Proverb

What a man needs to get ahead is a powerful enemy. - Wendell Wilkie

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope. - Ogden Nash

Men will let you abuse them only if you make them laugh. - Henry Ward Beecher

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it. - Thomas Beecham

To save a man's life against his will is the same as killing him. - Horace

A man is never so on trial as in the moment of excessive good fortune. - Lew Wallace

A man must learn to endure patiently what he cannot avoid conveniently. - Michel de Montaigne

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

I'm 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know? - Barry Cryer

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee. - Anne Bradstreet

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. - Robert Byrne

If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work. - George Carlin

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. - Oliver W. Holmes

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

If you can meet success and failure and treat them both as impostors, then you are a balanced man, my son. - Rudyard Kipling

When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you'd been the only man in the world. - C S Lewis

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

If you ever find a man who is better than you are - hire him. If necessary, pay him more than you pay yourself. - David Ogilvy

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield

Therefore if a man look sharply and attentively, he shall see Fortune; for though she be blind, yet she is not invisible. - Francis Bacon

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

The heart of who I am as a person and as a man is forgiveness, after forgiving my father for a lot of things that were done when I was a child. - Tyler Perry

There is always room for a man of force and he makes room for many. Society is a troop of thinkers and the best heads among them take the best places. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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20-Apr-2021