Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Bed is the poor man's opera. - Italian Proverb

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Men are only as loyal as their options. - Bill Maher

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

A man is not where he lives, but where he loves. - Latin Proverb

Even in wise men there is more folly than wisdom. - Sebastien Chamfort

Every man is like the company he is wont to keep. - Euripides

When good men die, their goodness does not perish. - Euripides

That man is truly good who knows his own dark places. - Beowulf

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire

It is part of human nature to hate the man you have hurt. - Tacitus

A wise man will live as much within his wit as his income. - Philip Dormer Stanhope

Measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him. - Unknown

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions. - Leonardo Da Vinci

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Make no little plans: They have no magic to stir men's blood. - Daniel H Burnham

Why should anybody be interested in some old man who was a failure? - Ernest Hemingway

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

It is wonderful how well men can keep secrets they have not been told. - Winston Churchill

Impotience: Eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible. - St. Augustine

If you need something done ask a busy man, no one else will have time to do it. - Unknown

The supreme function of reason is to show man that some things are beyond reason. - Blaise Pascal

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself. - Galileo Galilei

Perfection is my motto. Percentage is my middle name. Walk alone and wait for no man. - Unknown

To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail. - Abraham Maslow

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. - George Burns

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If a man must be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most. - E.B. White

What was most significant about the lunar voyage was not that men set foot on the moon but that they set eye on the earth. - Norman Cousins

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't want to be the oldest performer in captivity. I don't want to look like a little old man dancing out there. - Fred Astaire

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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27-Sep-2021