For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
The thinking man's crumpet. - Frank Muir
Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton
Men have become the tools of their tools. - Henry David Thoreau
The greedy man stores all but friendship. - Irish Proverb
Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges
In this world a man must either be an anvil or hammer. - Henry W. Longfellow
The superior man is distressed by his want of ability. - Confucius
I am but a gatherer and disposer of other men's stuff. - Henry Wotton
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. - Laurence J. Peter
Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken
The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch
Banking may well be a career from which no man really recovers. - John Kenneth Galbraith
The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. - Chinese Proverb
The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. - Chinese Proverb
In critical moments, men sometimes see exactly what they wish to see. - Leonard Nimoy
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken
The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips
A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. - William Butler Yeats
Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. - Elbert Hubbard
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
By the time a man gets to be presidential material, he's been bought ten times over. - Gore Vidal
See how the boy is with his sister and you can know how the man will be with your daughter. - Sioux Proverb
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato
The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams
The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
A man doesn't begin to attain wisdom until he recognizes that he is no longer indispensable. - Admiral Richard Byrd
What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith
All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination. - Carl Jung
“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin
Therefore if a man look sharply and attentively, he shall see Fortune; for though she be blind, yet she is not invisible. - Francis Bacon
There is no meaning to life except the meaning man gives his life by the unfolding of his powers, by living productively. - Erich Fromm
I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume
To make no mistake is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. - Plutarch
It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose
Each one must learn for himself the highest wisdom. It cannot be taught in words. Men who work cannot dream, and wisdom comes to us in dreams. - Smohalla
Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
 Lamp Escape |  Strong Straws |  Lucky Spectator |  Breadlace |  I Think I'll Hold It |
 Instant Coffee Tragedy |  Cow Camouflage |  Room For Two |  Neandertallica |  Key-o-Saurus |
 Pure Maple Syrup |  Dentist Drill |  Wife Consumption |  Dog Proctologist |  Vintage Birth Control |
 Used Cows For Sale |  Stylish Butcher |  Greek Financial Path |  God Gives Restaurant |  Rubik's Cube Puzzle-Meant |
05-Dec-2019 |