Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
A man like Verdi must write like Verdi. - Verdi

I will praise any man that will praise me. - William Shakespeare

A man who lives long enough will be a boy twice. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. - William C. McAdoo

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

He's the Man of the Hour, at this particular moment. - Don King

Men should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable. - Cher

A wise man will live as much within his wit as his income. - Philip Dormer Stanhope

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

He's the kind of man who picks his friends - to pieces. - Mae West

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

A man's true height is determined by his thoughts and actions. - Unknown

To save a man's life against his will is the same as killing him. - Horace

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste they hurry past it. - Soren Kierkegaard

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

Nobody holds a good opinion of a man who holds a low opinion of himself. - Anthony Trollope

Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. - George Bernard Shaw

There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the fault of his feet. - Samuel Beckett

Professional men, they have no cares;
whatever happens, they get theirs. - Ogden Nash

The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose. - James Baldwin

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself. - Galileo Galilei

The greatest men have been those who have cut their way to success through difficulties. - F.W. Robertson

A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company. - Charles E Hughes

Are you a man with a conscience, or just a shark who will die when you stop moving forward? - Roderick Vincent

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him. - Sidney Greenberg

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

Your desires and true beliefs have a way of playing blind man's bluff. You must corner the inner facts. - David Seabury

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth - even if it costs him his job. - Samuel Goldwyn

Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only is they are determined to be so. - Charles de Gaulle

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. - Oscar Wilde

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another. - Ernest Hemingway

Painting is a blind man's profession. He paints not what he sees, but what he feels, what he tells himself about what he has seen. - Pablo Picasso

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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25-Feb-2020