For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
A man had better wear out than rust out. - Richard Cumberland
How great in number are the little-minded men. - Plautus
Every man believes he has a greater possibility. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never contend with a man who has nothing to lose. - Baltasar Gracian
The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown
Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope. - Ogden Nash
Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard
You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown
The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. - Plutarch
An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb
A conservative is a man who just sits and thinks, mostly sits. - Woodrow Wilson
After a rich man gets rich, his next ambition is to get richer. - American Proverb
If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? - Stanislaw J. Lec
The Son of God became a man to enable men to become sons of God. - C S Lewis
The name of a man is a numbing blow from which he never recovers. - Marshall McLuhan
It is to their crimes that great men are indebted for their palaces. - Latin Proverb
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man. - Groucho Marx
Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain
Man either goes forward in imagination or remains imprisoned in his senses. - Unknown
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work. - George Carlin
Inaction will cause a man to sink into the slough of despond and vanish without a trace. - Farley Mowat
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. - Plato
Bogart could have been color blind. He got to know a man before he decided if he liked him or not. - Sammy Davis, Jr.
Man is more interesting than men. God made him and not them in his image. Each one is more precious than all. - Andre Gide
Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee
Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy
Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you; when he is afraid of losing you. - Unknown
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. - Rodney Dangerfield
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
A slave has but one master; an ambitious man has as many masters as there are people who may be useful in bettering his position. - Jean de La Bruyere
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. - Horace Walpole
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. - Henry Ford
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
The high prize of life, the crowning fortune of a man, is to be born with a bias to some pursuit, which finds him in employment and happiness. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
 Chair Folders |  Seeing Eye Cat |  Swim Fingers |  Vatican Wall |  Computer Multitasker - He Be Da' Man! |
 Modern Romance |  T-Shirt Answer |  Handbell Registration |  Spamdex Pork Shorts |  What's Your Blues Name? |
 Big Sister vs Big Brother |  Growing Own Pot |  Boat Tram |  Duct Tape Wall Bed |  Pilot Lounge |
 How Do You Like Your Steak? |  Chopper Bike |  Bed Bug |  Truck Load |  Wallusion |
27-Sep-2020 |