For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women.
Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy…
-2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your
favorite team… -10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian
shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800
THE BIG QUESTION: She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about
a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think
I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin
The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht
New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb
All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud
Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy
No great man ever complains of want of opportunities. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. - Eric Hoffer
A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras
After a man passes 60, his mischief is mainly is his head. - Edgar W Howe
The real character of a man is found out by his amusements. - Joshua Reynolds
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb
As long as you know men are like children, you know everything. - Coco Chanel
A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men. - Ronald Dahl
Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing
No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one. - Elbert Hubbard
Nowadays the clinical history too often weighs more than the man. - Martin H. Fischer
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown
When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him. - Euripides
Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. - Mark Twain
The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code
Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving
Blessed is the man who can laugh at himself, for he will never cease to be amused. - Proverb
The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men. - Plato
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. - Mark Twain
An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis
The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf. - Mark Twain
Before you contradict an old man, my fair friend, you should endeavor to understand him. - George Santayana
The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
Inflation is as violent as a mugger, as frightening as an armed robber and as deadly as a hit man. - Ronald Reagan
The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The one quality that can be developed by studious reflection and practice is the leadership of men. - Dwight D Eisenhower
A professional is a man who can do his best at a time when he doesn't particularly feel like it. - Alistair Cooke
As Man alone, Jesus could not have saved us; As God alone, He would not; Made flesh, He could and did. - Malcolm Muggeridge
It ain't enough that he's a Pinko and an atheist. You gonna turn him from a man to a morphadite? - Archie Bunker
I refused to go on 'Grumpy Old Men.' I said, 'If I go on, I will be grumpy about grumpy old men.' - Stephen Fry
The inauspiciousness of the owl is nothing but the inauspiciousness of the man who thinks that owl is inauspicious. - Mehmet Murat ildan
There is always room for a man of force and he makes room for many. Society is a troop of thinkers and the best heads among them take the best places. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
see also Marriage & Relationship Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman
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