Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Engineering with fabric. - Jean Muir

Don't make plans, make options. - Jennifer Aniston

The artist in me cries out for design. - Robert Frost

Spring is the time of plans and projects. - Leo Tolstoy

The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick

Architecture begins where engineering ends. - Walter Gropius

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin

Plans are worthless, but planning is everything. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Make no little plans: They have no magic to stir men's blood. - Daniel H Burnham

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

Design is about discipline and reality, not about fantasy beyond reality. - Albert Hadley

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work. - Peter F Drucker

Scientists discover the world that exists; engineers create the world that never was. - Theodore von Karman

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment. - Horace

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca

How much more grand is the work of our Heavenly Father as he pulls together all the varied strands of life to reveal his grand design? - Ravi Zacharias

The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail. - Napoleon Hill

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. - Napoleon Hill

Don't lie. Life is a puzzle and we are all unique pieces. When you lie, you make it impossible to find your true place in the grand design. - Steve Maraboli

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. - Unknown


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training
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25-May-2022