Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Luck is the residue of design. - Branch Rickey

Don't make plans, make options. - Jennifer Aniston

The artist in me cries out for design. - Robert Frost

The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin

Plans are worthless, but planning is everything. - Dwight D Eisenhower

My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. - Unknown

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Never tell anyone your plans, show them your results instead. - Leonardo DiCaprio

Make no little plans: They have no magic to stir men's blood. - Daniel H Burnham

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent upon arriving. - Lao-tzu

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past. - Charles J Givens

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The key to making things affordable is design and technology improvements, as well as scale. - Elon Musk

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. - Jim Rohn

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The Swedish engineer who invented the zip fastener made a greater intellectual leap than many scientists do in a lifetime. - Martin Rees

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

How much more grand is the work of our Heavenly Father as he pulls together all the varied strands of life to reveal his grand design? - Ravi Zacharias

The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail. - Napoleon Hill

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. - Napoleon Hill

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

Mouse Revenge

Young Who Suffer

Stray Cat

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Forest Guardian

Sing It Out

UPS and DOWNS

Good Luck Angel

Hosanna in Excel Sheets

British Kingdom

Dance With Me

Mouse Trick

Black Friday Scam

Pianist's Challenge

Economy Flight

Diamond Ring TP

Water Transformer Hazard

Office Irony

Covid Vaccine Testing

The Hills Are Closed
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26-Nov-2021