Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Engineering with fabric. - Jean Muir

Luck is the residue of design. - Branch Rickey

The artist in me cries out for design. - Robert Frost

Spring is the time of plans and projects. - Leo Tolstoy

The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The writer is the engineer of the human soul. - Joseph Stalin

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans. - Allen Saunders

Make no little plans: They have no magic to stir men's blood. - Daniel H Burnham

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no plans. - Peter F Drucker

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Scientists discover the world that exists; engineers create the world that never was. - Theodore von Karman

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment. - Horace

When a man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal in a very narrow compass. - Sir Richard Steele

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. - Seneca

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal. - Napoleon Hill

They submitted bills, and we paid them. Then we checked the engineering reports and found out that we had paid them far more than we owed them. - Donald Trump

Don't lie. Life is a puzzle and we are all unique pieces. When you lie, you make it impossible to find your true place in the grand design. - Steve Maraboli

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

Finger Olympics

Cow Licks

Dog Distress

Mate Attraction

Dark Room

Lineup For Dinner

Redneck Furnace

Traffic Sign Art

A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Garage Door Art

Kellogg's Fire

Teenage Independence

Parasite Trivia

Bobslide Event

Scooter Races

Bull Squirrel

Wife Consumption

Chinese Shoelusion

Craneception

Pizza Math
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27-Jul-2021