Engineer’s Christmas Spec Plans   (pdf file)

What happens when you let an Engineer design Christmas


Engineers gone mad!
Asbestos Free Flocking for the Christmas tree
Christmas lights not to exceed one candle power
Christmas tree 'Dripline' and Limits of Present Placement
Compliancy Standards for trees over 6'-0"
Duct Tape needs a professional elf's approval
Flame Retardant sprayed on the Christmas tree with scented pine aerosol
Limits of Santa's landing strip on the chimney
Load Bearing Christmas tree stand
Presents wrapped in semi-gloss festive paper with adhesive clear strips
Roof Live Loads - capable of supporting reindeer, loaded sleigh & an overweight man
Roof Top holiday compliancy plans
Runaway sleigh containment barrier - made from high strength bungee material
Seismic Studies to ensure tree is placed in a geologically secure area
Tree angel attached with H7 braces
Wheelchair access to the fireplace

When an Engineer designs Christmas

QuotaBills
Engineering with fabric. - Jean Muir

Plans make dreams reality. - Susan Pace-Koch

Luck is the residue of design. - Branch Rickey

Don't make plans, make options. - Jennifer Aniston

The artist in me cries out for design. - Robert Frost

Spring is the time of plans and projects. - Leo Tolstoy

The engineering is secondary to the vision. - Cynthia Ozick

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray. - Seymoure Cray

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

My career plans were much more exciting when I was 5. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans. - Allen Saunders

Never tell anyone your plans, show them your results instead. - Leonardo DiCaprio

Make no little plans: They have no magic to stir men's blood. - Daniel H Burnham

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no plans. - Peter F Drucker

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment. - Horace

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. - Jim Rohn

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

When a man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal in a very narrow compass. - Sir Richard Steele

One has to look out for engineers - they begin with sewing machines and end up with the atomic bomb. - Marcel Pagnol

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail. - Napoleon Hill

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

They submitted bills, and we paid them. Then we checked the engineering reports and found out that we had paid them far more than we owed them. - Donald Trump

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown


Christmas  in an  Engineering  company

 

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Shark Circles

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Stairway Chute

Run Down Apartments

Your Fly Is Down

Employee Factory - Join The Crowd!

Moonshiners

How Did They Get There?

Dent Wizard

Painted Fence

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Reaching The Ocean

Worst Aid

How To Make A Deer Stand

Make Your Own Plectrum

Too Little Too Late

Pelican Sunrise

Modern Romance

Moose Police
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16-Apr-2021