Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

Mr. President, I love you, but you're wrong. - Paul Harvey

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

Frankly, I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is. - Edward Kennedy

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. - Tom Robbins

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Our whole constitutional heritage rebels at the thought of giving government the power to control men's minds. - Thurgood Marshall

Harold MacMillan is a very intelligent man, who, as so often happens in politics, achieved supreme power too late. - Malcolm Muggeridge

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
Hillary in 2007:  Democrat Gift
Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

America’s Moment of Truth
Bucket of Hillary
Da Queen
Donald Trump White House
First Dog
Happy Scary Halloween
Hillarius Trump
Hillary Hairstyle
Redneck Politician
Vote For Me

 

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler

Steering Wheel For Couples

Confined By Walls

Moon Descent

Redneck Selfie Stick

1957 Woolworth Menu

Cops Beating A Black Man in NYC
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

03-Jun-2020