Hillary’s First Night As President

White House inspiration for the First Lady


[Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this...]

FIRST NIGHT
Suddenly the ghost of George Washington appears to her...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Washington says, “Never tell a lie.”
“Ouch!” says Hillary, “I don’t know about that.”

SECOND NIGHT
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Jefferson says, “Listen to the people.”
“Ohhh! I really don’t want to do that.”

THIRD NIGHT
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...
Hillary says, “How can I best serve my country?”
Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”


QuotaBills
Politics makes strange postmasters. - Kin Hubbard

How can a President not be an actor? - Ronald Reagan

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep. - George Stephanopolous

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. - Charles de Gaulle

Every man who wants to be President is either an egomaniac or crazy. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

The reason I'm running for President is because I can't be Bruce Springsteen. - Barack Obama

The indignation of politicians is NOT a good measure of the gravity of any situation. - Paul Harvey

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

There are advantages to being President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret. - Ronald Reagan

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump


see also   Government,  History  &  Politics  Sections
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Bill & Hillary in 2009:  Clinton Combo Kitchen Tool Set

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24-Sep-2020