Congressional Motors 2012 Car

Announcing the all-new 2012 Pelosi GTxi



Congressional Motors Car

It’s in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You’re a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It’s that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors (CM).

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again - with a vengeance.

We’ve subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you’ll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that’s a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn’t skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you’ll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don’t stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM’s Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes - even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.

Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard. Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you’ll never miss a segment of National Public Radio (NPR) again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit’s famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don’t own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you’re supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price (MSRP) starting at only $629,999.99, it’s affordable too. Don’t forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you’d choose it over the import brands.
Even if they were still legal.

QuotaBills
Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

Honor is not the exclusive property of any political party. - Herbert Hoover

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


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17-Feb-2020