Maple Leaf Coalition

Toronto Maple Leafs Win Stanley Cup!



Canada was stunned Monday when it was announced that The Stanley Cup will be awarded to the Toronto Maple Leafs, possibly as early as December 6th. The cup will be stripped from 2008 playoff champions (Detroit Red Wings) and be awarded to the Leafs, who didn’t even make the playoffs.
How is this possible, Canadians ask?
Well, the Leafs have formed a coalition with the eastern conference semifinalists (Montreal Canadians), and conference quarter finalists (Ottawa Senators), now outnumbering the Red Wings. According to current Leaf coach Ron Wilson, “the Red Wings have lost the confidence of the league and should hand the cup over immediately to our coalition.”

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is cutting short a European trip to try to resolve the unprecedented hockey crisis that could force a second playoff series, or see an opposing team coalition take the cup.
Prorogue, you say?


This guy pretends to lead Coalition “A” (as in “eh”, eh!)


Ah, but this Maple Leaf coalition is not led by pro rogues at all - Coalition “B” is led by Big “B” - the only guy who’s a winner in the east & west!


QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Hockey's my favorite sport. - Denis Leary

Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux

Hockey is the original extreme sport. - Tom Ward

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

Figure skaters have awful perceptions of hockey players. - Kristi Yamaguchi

Ninety percent of hockey is mental and the other half is physical. - Wayne Gretzky

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

By 1946, I knew Detroit was the best hockey city in the Original Six. - Ted Lindsay

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

I love hockey because of the respect for history and for the game itself. - George Vecsey

People know me from a hockey game, from an earthquake, from the O.J case. - Al Michaels

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates. - Joe Sakic

When you think of hockey, when you think of Canada, you think of Wayne Gretzky. - Joe Sakic

I still have my teeth. I don't want to lose them at age 61 in some hockey game. - Jim Flaherty

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

I never looked at hockey as work. Now that I'd finished playing, I had to go to work. - Bobby Orr

Our team lives hockey, it dreams hockey, it eats hockey. Now if it could only play hockey. - Milton Berle

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

I am on your Walk of Fame in Toronto. My sense of humour is Canadian. But I can't vote. - Donald Sutherland

I think the thing you always got to keep in mind, you know, hockey is a game of one-on-one battles. - Mark Messier

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I found my prince - he's a hockey player and we met at an NHL event, the last place I'd ever expect to meet someone, but there he was. - Carol Alt

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman


see also   Ice Hockey  Section
Canucks Sign Iraqi Center
Canucks Team Photo (2008)
eBay Bid
Free Beer
Hamilton NHL Team
Hockey Players Are Mean
Leaf Blower for Sale
Maple Leafs’ Playoff Plans
Toronto Maple Leafs’ New Building
Toronto Maple Leafs - No Cup For You!
Wife’s Nightie
Zamboni Fodder

 

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22-Sep-2020