![]() ![]() Remember, if it’s not Pfizer, it’s not Viagra (or Tiagra) Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown see also Golf Section Black Golfer Most Expensive Car Wrecks Reconstructive Surgery Tiger’s New Movie Tiger Shark Tiger Wood’s 2009 Christmas Card Tiger Wood's Trophy Tiger Woods Would Viagra Overdose When The Chips Are Down |
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