Santa’s Rest Room

Santa’s other delivery - decorated for his big night



Santa's Rest Room

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Prose is architecture, not interior decoration, and the Baroque is over. - Ernest Hemingway

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw


see also   Bad Gas,  Bathroom  &  Christmas  Sections

 

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27-Jan-2020