It all began with an iPhone. March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t? ![]() I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. ![]() My daughter’s birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch. ![]() September came by, so for her birthday i got my wife an iRon. ![]() It was around then that the fight started. What the wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. (Warning: this inevitably activates the iNag reminder service) I hope to be out of the hospital by Christmas... The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche Women should be obscene and not heard. - Groucho Marx A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker I love men, not because they are men, but because they are not women. - Queen Christina of Sweden A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. - H L Mencken My greatest regret is not knowing at 30 what I knew about women at 60. - Arthur Miller I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could compete. - Bette Davis Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse. - Laurence Sterne Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. - Alice Kahn The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge A woman described me as a bit of a looker the other day. Well, 'voyeur' was the actual word she used. - Gary Delaney Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker The greatest achievement of humanity is not its works of art, science, or technology, but the recognition of its own dysfunction. - Eckhart Tolle Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan A gift is pure when it is given from the heart to the right person at the right time and at the right place, and when we expect nothing in return. - Vyasa Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx see also Birthday, Hospital, Marriage, Shopping & Stress Sections Before Online Dating Before The Impact Computing For Girls - A Windows Special Everything Men Know About Women Female Attraction Female IT Experts Hormone Guide iPhone Dock iPhone Evolution iPottie Iron Deposit Mission Gap - for Men & Women Mountain Iron Man Names of the Colours Real Iron Man Competition Real Man’s Point System Redneck Anniversary Gift Secret Of A Long Marriage Sheer Surprise The Good Wife’s Guide TurbAnne - India’s Iron Lady When Men Shop For Groceries Why iPad Won’t Replace a Newspaper Winning An Argument With A Woman |
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