Alcohol Test

Free online portable breathalyzer



If you pass this alcohol test, you can keep drinking,
if not, it’s time to stop.
Follow the simple instructions below:

1. Click on the man’s nose.
2. A new window will open - click on the man’s nose again.
3. For each time you click on his nose, you can drink another beer,
glass of wine, or your favourite hard drink.

Man swatting at an annoying fly

QuotaBills
In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


see also   Alcohol  Section
Alcohol Research
Alcohol Warning
Be Anything You Want
Dog Beer Conversion
How Tequila Works
If Alcohol Talked
New Wine For Seniors
One Beer A Day
Wine Aerobics
Wine Bibber

 

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06-Jul-2022