Simon’s Gas

When Simon’s Car needs Simon’s Cat’s Advice





QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. - Unknown

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. - E.M. Forster

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

When I lived in Delhi, I used to visit the Lodhi Gardens and feed the pigeons, crows, and ducks there. - Sangram Singh

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


see also   Art,  Car,  Cat  &  Illusion  Sections

 

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pentecost Sunday

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence

Horse-Back Riding

Social Distancing Fine

Burnout Indication

Lost Luggage

A Balanced Diet
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30-May-2020