Lost Car Keys

Ever not lost something?

Adding insult to injury in the parking lot


Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen.

As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered. (I always call him “honey” in times like these)

“I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.”

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.

“Are you kidding’ me”, he barked, “I dropped you off!!!”

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop I didn’t steal your car.”

Yep it’s the Golden Years...


QuotaBills
The man who fears losing has already lost. - George R.R. Martin

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Before anything else, preparation is the key to success. - Alexander Graham Bell

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

You painted us into a corner, then you threw away the key. - Archie Bunker

Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness. - Unknown

Never forget what a person says to you when they are angry. - Henry Ward Beecher

If we don't get lost, we'll never find a new route. - Joan Littlewood

Love your enemy. But don't forget he is not your friend. - Paulo Coelho

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Do not forget small kindnesses and do not remember small faults. - Chinese Proverb

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most. - Ozzy Osbourne

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Luke, I don't want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader. - Obi Wan Kenobi

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. - Milton Berle

I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost. - A.A. Milne

Last night at Carnegie Hall, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost. - Harold C. Schonberg

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Humility is a strange thing. The minute you think you've got it, you've lost it. - Unknown

Whoever said, "It's not whether you win or lose that counts" probably lost. - Martina Navratilova

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

I actually lost 90 pounds over the course of 15 months in order to save money on life insurance. - Derek Kilmer

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

The key is not the will to win. Everybody has that. It is the will to prepare to win that is important. - Bobby Knight

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

I'll never forget my first fur. It was a modest little stole. Modest? People thought I was wearing anchovies. - Phyllis Diller

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. - Albert Schweitzer

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Please promise me. If and when the day comes that I may forget who you are, please promise that you won't forget that I am still me. - Mara Botonis

Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness where the explorers often get lost. - W.S. Anglin


see also   Aging,  Marriage,  Police  &  Stress  Sections
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15-Dec-2019