Santa Elephant

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb

Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown

Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder

You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger