![]() Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand The elephant does not limp when walking on thorns. - African Proverb Anything related to elephants is irrelephant. - Unknown Elephino: Cross between an Elephant and a Rhinoceros - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. - Todd Stocker Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan His wallet is more capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on. - Blackadder You describe the elephant by its size, but the mosquito by its impact. Even the smallest thing has an impact. - Celia Apeagyei-Collins Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger see also Christmas, Elephant & Scenery Sections Bird Stocking Christmas Balls Christmas Budget Christmas Dinner Made Easy Christmas Fireplace Tip Christmas Light Installation Christmas Pencil Sharpener Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven Forget The Present Gingerbread Star Wars Walker Heathen’s Greetings Jingle Cats’ White Christmas Merry House Office Party Grinch Recession Christmas Tree Redneck Christmas Sleigh Santa For Kids Santa Stop Lights Santa’s Last Stop For Mexican Food Saskatchewan Entrepreneur Save Santa The Trip Signs of Christmas Everywhere Texas Hood Ornament Three Wise Men Three Wise Women Walking In A Doggie Wonderland |
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