![]() The Duck Dynasty Christmas manger scene Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze see also Christmas & Redneck Sections Christmas Balls Christmas Dinner Made Easy Christmas Fireplace Tip Christmas Pencil Sharpener Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven Forget The Present Heathen’s Greetings Merry House Office Party Grinch Saskatchewan Entrepreneur Save Santa The Trip Signs of Christmas Everywhere Texas Hood Ornament Three Wise Men Three Wise Women Walking In A Doggie Wonderland |
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