Texas Holiday Lights

What a blast!

Bubba lights up his Christmas tree with jingle bells and shotgun shells



Texas Christmas Holiday Lights

Soon be discontinued on the Duck Dynasty Christmas Wish List

QuotaBills
Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon


see also   Christmas  &  Redneck  Sections
Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas
Benini Ranch Sculpture
BIG Texas Rattlesnake
ChristMoose Tree
Crash Course in Texas Weather
Giant Texas Red Centipede
Jim’s Happy Hour
Motion Detector Camera Night Activity
Moving Day in Texas
Only In Texas
Redneck Tree Chair
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Sports Car Delivery in Texas
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Tactical Texas
Texas 4 Months Apart
Texas 911
Texas Ambulance
Texas Bakery
Texas Bank Security
Texas Car Wash
Texas Chili Taster
Texas Christmas Tree
Texas Cobra Boots
Texas Cow Cleaner
Texas Diet
Texas Divorce
Texas Door Handle
Texas Drought
Texas Easter Bunny
Texas Farmer
Texas Flashlight
Texas Gun Lover
Texas Holiday Lights
Texas Hood Ornament
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Texas Lampshades
Texas Limo
Texas Motorcycle Seat
Texas Office Chair
Texas Outhouse Art
Texas Rain Gauge
Texas Rocking Chair
Texas Speed Camera
Texas Steak
Texas Style Arrest
Texas Three-Kick Rule
Texas Truck
Texas-Europe Size Comparison
Texas Valentine
Texas Wal-Mart Shopper
Texas Wheel Mags
Texas Wheelchair
Texas Wildcat Dentist
Texas Wine Glass
Texas Womanhood
Texas Zoo
Valentines - Texas Style
Welcome to Texas, USPS
Why We Live in Texas

 

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Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

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09-Apr-2020