Joe’s Office

There are no office hours for leaders. - Cardinal J Gibbons

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. - Will Rogers

Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper. - Taylor J Reid

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

You do well to consider the office your own, for you bought it. - Julius Caesar's father

A verbal agreement isn't worth the paper it's written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? - Jay Leno

I can forget and you can forget, but a piece of paper never forgets. - Unknown

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Paper Napkin: Its only ambition is to get down off your lap and play on the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases. - Jerry Brown

I think I'm right-brained, incapable of managing my way out of a brown paper bag. - Jeremy Grantham

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

Mathematics is the cheapest science. All one needs for mathematics is a pencil and a paper. - George Polya

Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek

Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. - David Hilbert

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore. - Jeff Foxworthy

I have far too many skeletons in my closet to think about any sort of serious mention of public office. - David Cone

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

A boss on vacation is the most cost effective measure. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. - Thibaut

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Three rules of work: Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. - Albert Einstein

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman