Every Man Should Get One

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

Lawyers are the jackals of commerce. - Elbert Hubbard

Do you not know that I am above the law? - James II

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly

Laws are not masters but servants, and he rules them who obeys them. - Henry Ward Beecher

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

It happens to be against two laws: God's and man's. I'm booking her on the second. - Cornell Wilde

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. - Will Rogers

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest. - Sri Chinmoy

It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Most people ask questions because they want to know the answer; lawyers are trained never to ask questions unless they already know the answer. - Lani Guinier

Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright