Turnip-o’-lanterns

Bubba eats his veggie porch lights when they burn out





QuotaBills
Ghost Writer: Spooksman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Square Root: 1. Diced carrot; 2. Diced turnip. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

The muses are ghosts, and sometimes they come uninvited. - Stephen King

This diamond has so many carats it's almost a turnip. - Richard Burton

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


Iron Man Jack-o’-lantern
Jack-o’-lantern Apocalypse
Student Loan Jack-o’-lantern

 

Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror
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24-Jan-2021