Elf Defense

Santa Clause 101: defending the North Pole



Academy of Elf Defense

Washington State prepares special Karate events for Christmas

QuotaBills
I only direct in self-defense. - Mel Brooks

People use irony as a defense mechanism. - David Byrne

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

The best defense against logic is ignorance. - Blaise Pascal

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no defense against criticism except obscurity. - Joseph Addison

Denial is a useful defense mechanism until it's not. - Rosalind Kaplan

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. - Sun Tzu

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I'm a black belt in karate. I grew up on the outskirts of Paris, and it was rough. - Elodie Yung

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Karate's a very boring sport, but when you know the technique you can go further and further. - Jean-Claude Van Damme

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Courage will now be your best defence against the storm that is at hand - that and such hope as I bring. - JRR Tolkien

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I don't like creating software anymore. It's too exact. It's like karate; there's no room for error. - John Maeda

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

When I was younger I did karate and martial arts, and I think it's really cool for girls to have those kinds of abilities. - Rebel Wilson

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon


see also   Christmas  &  Security  Sections
Christmas Lottery Gift
Dark Side Christmas
Elf Tree Decoration
If The Elves Win The Lottery
Missing Elf
Proof That Elves Exist

 

Fly Art

Texas Rain Gauge

Camel Hatchback

Teahouse of the August Moon

Bent Baby

Deluxembourg

Lost Head

Moving Sofa

Florida Golf Hazard

Billionaire Thoughts

Graduation Swag

U.S. Millionaires

How To Save NASA

Computer Travelers

Virtual Air Canada

Jockey Racing

'Pier' Pressure

Canadian Coat Of Arms

On The Eighth Day

Texas Bakery
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

02-Jul-2020