Sober Santa

Don’t drink and drive this Christmas!





Hopefully Santa will have a safe delivery this year

QuotaBills
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


see also   Christmas  &  Safety  Sections
Alcohol Research
Calculus Drinks
Feeling Inebriated?
Grandma’s Remedies
How Tequila Works
If Alcohol Talked
Red Wine Diet
Redneck Wine Glass
Russian Shot Glass
Scottish Haircut
Sermon On Alcohol
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Lurks Good
Yoga Stress Relief

 

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29-Sep-2020