Four Husbands

Interviewing a pun-e 80-year-old lady


The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now - in her 80’s - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”


QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland


see also   Marriage  &  pun-e  Sections
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
A Woman’s Mind
Alaska Marriage License
Arkansas Divorce Application
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before The Impact
Bulge That All Women Love
Bullet Rings
Communication Divorce
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Divorce Is Grand
Divorce Lawyers
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Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Five Stages of a Female’s Life
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GPS Marriage Proposal
Hardworking Wife
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Her Side vs His Side
Hormone Guide
How To Argue With A Woman
How To Live A Long & Happy Life
Husband Colors
Husband Day Care Center
Husband Mart
Hyphenated Names
iGifts
In Three Pictures
International Sign of Marriage
Just Divorced
Keyboard Wedding
Ladies - You “Can” Order Your Perfect Man!
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Long, Happy Marriage
Looking For Your Wife?
Marital Rating Chart - Husband
Marital Rating Chart - Wife
Marital Bliss
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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife
Message From The Wife
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Names of the Colours
National Husband Care Program
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Old Divorce
Perfect Diamond Engagement Ring
Perfect Divorce
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Sheer Surprise
Sinking Feeling
Sound Advice
Sunday Drive in the Country
Surprise Announcement
Texas Divorce
The Good Wife’s Guide
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
The Perfect Male
Together Since
Understanding Women
Until We Understand Women
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Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
When Men Shop For Groceries
Wife Consumption
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21-Sep-2021