Four Husbands

Interviewing a pun-e 80-year-old lady


The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now - in her 80’s - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”


QuotaBills
Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Of puns it has been said that they who most dislike them are least able to utter them. - Edgar Allan Poe

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


see also   Marriage  &  pun-e  Sections
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
A Woman’s Mind
Alaska Marriage License
Arkansas Divorce Application
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before The Impact
Bulge That All Women Love
Bullet Rings
Communication Divorce
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
Divorce Lawyers
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Five Stages of a Female’s Life
Flower Shop For Men
GPS Marriage Proposal
Hardworking Wife
Hawaiian Surfboard Trade
Help Me Before It's Too Late!
Her Side vs His Side
Hormone Guide
How To Argue With A Woman
How To Live A Long & Happy Life
Husband Colors
Husband Day Care Center
Husband Mart
Hyphenated Names
iGifts
In Three Pictures
International Sign of Marriage
Just Divorced
Keyboard Wedding
Ladies - You “Can” Order Your Perfect Man!
LadyNet
Long, Happy Marriage
Looking For Your Wife?
Marital Rating Chart - Husband
Marital Rating Chart - Wife
Marital Bliss
Marriage Cards
Marriage Expectations
Marriage Wisdom
Married Man’s Harley
Meet Your Future Ex-Wife
Message From The Wife
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Names of the Colours
National Husband Care Program
Obedient Wife
Old Divorce
Perfect Diamond Engagement Ring
Perfect Divorce
Perfect Gift
Polish Divorce
Real Iron Man Competition
Real Man’s Point System
Redneck Anniversary Gift
Redneck Divorce
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Sinking Feeling
Sound Advice
Sunday Drive in the Country
Surprise Announcement
Texas Divorce
The Good Wife’s Guide
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
The Perfect Male
Together Since
Understanding Women
Until We Understand Women
Waterina
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
When Men Shop For Groceries
Wife Consumption
Woman Without Her Man

 

Shrunk Jeep

Quarantine Garden

Casualty Way

Painfull Skydive

You Are Grounded

Discrimination

Mountain Flock

Tea Bait

One Of Those Days

Nanosecond Moments

Fishing Addiction

Lebanon Social Distancing

Centaur of Tymfi

Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

Trudeau Trips

Engagement Rings

Outback Golf Course

Importanter

Get In Line!

Landing On The Moon
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

01-Apr-2020