CATastrophe - How to Lionize Your Cat

Hair today... gone tomorrow!



My sister-in law is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent. She has cats
and when she lived in the south she would take them to the groomers
and have what is called a “Line Cut”. To her, a line cut is when all of
the fur hanging down below the cat’s tummy is taken off (because it gets
matted or snarled). When she moved to Chicago with my brother,
one of the cats fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in
for a Line Cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it
was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the
groomer that he understood what a Line Cut was and he said,
“Yes, I know what a LION cut is.”

(It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and
this is how her cat was returned to her…)
CATastrophe - how to Lionize your cat



She cried for a week... but not as much as the cat!
It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had.

Gas in car to go to groomers:  $4.50
Cat car carrier:  $32.99
Grooming fee:  $80.00
Getting the look from one seriously ticked off cat:  Priceless!


Post-Note:  Is a lion cut” for real?
The “lion cut” is indeed a standard grooming technique in which a cat’s hair is shaved skin-close
all over the body but left intact around the head, feet, and the end of the tail; the style so named
because it mimics the large mane and foot-and-tail tufts of a male lion.”  Snopes.com


QuotaBills
Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

Life and joy and beauty are better than dusty death. - Bertrand Russell

By means of beauty all beautiful things become beautiful. - Socrates

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. - Quentin Crisp

He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. - Chinese Proverb

Praise adds nothing to beauty - makes it neither better nor worse. - Marcus Aurelius

Beauty will result from the form and the correspondence of the whole. - Andrea Palladio

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

I used to think I'd like less grey hair. Now I'd like more of it. - Richie Benaud

He never chooses an opinion, he just wears whatever happens to be in style. - Leo Tolstoy

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

I never can feel certain of any truth but from a clear perception of its beauty. - John Keats

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Zest is the secret of all beauty. There is no beauty that is attractive without zest. - Christian Dior

Just because you are blind and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist. - Margaret Cho

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

Those who find beauty in all of nature will find themselves at one with the secrets of life itself. - L Wolfe Gilbert

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Let the resurrection joy lift us from loneliness and weakness and despair to strength and beauty and happiness. - Floyd W Tomkins

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Praise or blame has but a momentary effect on the man whose love of beauty in the abstract makes him a severe critic on his own works. - John Keats

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

The ideas that have lighted my way and, time after time, have given me new courage to face life cheerfully have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. - Albert Einstein

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


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03-Jul-2022