Tonto’s Horse Coolant

The Lone Ranger rides again


The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?”

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, “I do - Why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”

Tonto said, “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, “I do - what’s wrong with him this time?”

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, “Nothin’, but you left your Injun running.”


QuotaBills
Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Install: Where you keep your horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

An orator without judgment is a horse without a bridle. - Theophrastus

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

Dude Ranch: Where a guy who is rich enough to drive a Cadillac rides a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Are you Indian or Pakistani? I can never tell the difference between you chaps. - Prince Philip

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. - Jimmy Fallon

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Do you ever get halfway through eating a horse and go, 'You know, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'? - Tim Vinel

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry


see also   Country  &  Native Indian  Sections
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18-May-2022