Tonto’s Horse Coolant

The Lone Ranger rides again


The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?”

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, “I do - Why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”

Tonto said, “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, “I do - what’s wrong with him this time?”

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, “Nothin’, but you left your Injun running.”


QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - William Shakespeare

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

The one thing I do not want to be called is First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse. - Jacqueline Kennedy

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford


see also   Country  &  Native Indian  Sections
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Frog To Horse Illusion
Head Path
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Horse Mane Macrame
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One Horsepower Car
Quarter Horse or Quarterhorse?
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04-Dec-2020