Tonto’s Horse Coolant

The Lone Ranger rides again


The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?”

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, “I do - Why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!”

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”

Tonto said, “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, “I do - what’s wrong with him this time?”

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, “Nothin’, but you left your Injun running.”


QuotaBills
Mayor: A he-horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trojan Horse: A phony pony - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Installment: Putting a horse in his stall - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Few girls are as well shaped as a good horse. - Christopher Morley

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

Centaur: A man with a horse where his pants ought to be - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Absent-Mindedness: Searching for the horse you are riding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horsepower: A power which has put the horse out of business - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Horse Manure: 50p per pre-packed bag. 20p - do it your self. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Riding: The art of keeping a horse between yourself and the ground - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

Half of the failures in life come from pulling one’s horse when he is leaping. - Thomas Hood

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

A definite purpose, like blinders on a horse, inevitably narrows its possessor's point of view. - Robert Frost

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford


see also   Country  &  Native Indian  Sections
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02-Dec-2021