Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
Love is the only gold. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

I love the poorly educated. - Donald Trump

We accept the love we think we deserve. - Stephen Chbosky

Love isn't an act, it's a whole life. - Brian Moore

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

I love mankind... It's people I can't stand. - Linus Van Pelt

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Love is friendship set on fire. Hate is friendship burned. - Jeremy Taylor

Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

One hour of right-down love is worth an age of dully living on. - Aphra Behn

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. - Welsh Proverb

It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. - Vladimir Nabokov

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place. - Ice-T

Ignorance and bungling with love are better than wisdom and skill without. - Henry David Thoreau

For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love. - Carl Sagan

Much that passes as idealism is disguised hatred or disguised love of power. - Bertrand Russell

As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more. - Jules Renard

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That's my motto. - Barbara Bretton

Being in love with yourself means never having to say you've got a headache. - Ellie Laine

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy. - John Waters

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

Love is not finding someone to live with; it’s finding someone you can’t live without. - Rafael Ortiz

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy - both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. - Michael Scott

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. - Ursula K. Leguin

Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely. - Hawkeye

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I can't promise that I'll be here for the rest of your life, but I can promise that I'll love you for the rest of mine. - Unknown

Life can be magnificent and overwhelming - that is the whole tragedy. Without beauty, love, or danger it would almost be easy to live. - Albert Camus

One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation, and compassion. - Simone de Beauvoir

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. - Maya Angelou

The process of falling in love at first sight is as final as it is swift in such a case, but the growth of true friendship may be a lifelong affair. - Sarah O Jewett


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30-Mar-2020