Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
She was torn between love and booty. - Faith Baldwin

Familiar acts are beautiful through love. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Unknown

Grace is love that cares and stoops and rescues. - John Stott

I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix. - Dan Quayle

We are too apt to love praise, but not to deserve it. - William Penn

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I love various sports, including basketball, tennis and billiards. - Yani Tseng

Love in the real world means saying you're sorry 10 times a day. - Kathie Lee Gifford

I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. - Paulo Coelho

Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence. - Vincent van Gogh

Love is a word consisting of two vowels, two consonants, and two fools. - Jeff Rovin

Love is never as ferocious as when you think it's going to leave you. - Anita Shreve

Religion is the essence of culture, and culture is the dress of religion. - Paul Tillich

Don't be so much in love that you can't tell when it's raining. - African Proverb

To love to preach is one thing; to love to whom you preach is quite another. - D. Martin Lloyd-Jones

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

They say love's like the measles - all the worse when it comes late in life. - Douglas William Jerrold

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

In melody divine,
My heart it beats to rapturous love,
I long to call you mine. - Unknown

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

Be thankful for what you have. You have no idea how many people would love to have what you got. - Unknown

It's better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. - George Burns

I'm a human being and I fall in love and sometimes I don't have control of every situation. - Beyonce

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars. - Og Mandino

Practice mercy and forgiveness throughout as a lesson that symbolizes the love shown through his crucifixion. - Unarine Ramaru

You must act in your friend's interest whether it pleases him or not; the object of love is to serve, not to win. - Woodrow Wilson

Do not waste time bothering whether you love your neighbor; act as if you do, and you will presently come to love him. - C S Lewis

But here's what I've learned in this war, in this country, in this city: to love the miracle of having been born. - Oriana Fallaci

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

The love of God shows us that God alone bridges the distance between him and us, enabling us to see this world through Calvary. - Ravi Zacharias

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman

Don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong. - Ella Fitzgerald


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27-Jun-2022