Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Love makes intellectual pretzels of us all. - Sarah Bird

If there were no love, there'd be no grief. - Zig Ziglar

Love means never having to say you're sorry. - Love Story

In love there are two things - bodies and words. - Joyce Carol Oates

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Love: one game never postponed on account of darkness. - Unknown

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. - Henny Youngman

I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. - Charles Darwin

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. - Paul McCartney

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. - Bertrand Russell

I know love at first sight can work. It happened to my parents. - George Clooney

A poet never takes notes. You never take notes in a love affair. - Robert Frost

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

I enjoy my fun time and everything like that but I love what I do. - Christina Milian

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. - Lynda Barry

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination. - Voltaire

What shall I do to love? Believe.
What shall I do to believe? Love. - Irish Proverb

Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart. - Unknown

Love is never as ferocious as when you think it's going to leave you. - Anita Shreve

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar. - Lao-Tzu

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace. - Mahatma Gandhi

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

I'm in love with the potential of miracles. For me, the safest place is out on a limb. - Shirley MacLaine

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings

Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy. - Bertrand Russell

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present. - Marianne Williamson

Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love. - Leo Buscaglia

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

William Hurt has a painful last name. Kevin Love has a name perfect for February 14th. But what about Johnny Longdong? Where does he fit? - Jarod Kintz

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


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23-Jan-2020