Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
I love peace more than life. - John Wilkes Booth

All's fair in love and war. - John Lyly

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

I love life because what more is there. - Anthony Hopkins

I hate camping, but I love summer camp. - Zooey Deschanel

Shift from judgment to compassion to love. - Thomas Leonard

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

A person is only as good as what they love. - Saul Bellow

Being in love is a transient state of psychosis. - John Bradshaw

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - H L Mencken

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. - Pearl Bailey

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I don't want to live - I want to love first and live incidentally. - Zelda Fitzgerald

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Give me Caviar Kaspia and give me a hamburger. I love the two extremes. - Michael Kors

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

Those who love peace must learn to organize as well as those who love war. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. - Michael Leunig

A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind. - Richard Dehmel

A consultant is a man who knows 147 ways to make love, but doesn't know any women. - Unknown

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure. - Francoise de Motteville

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

The grand essentials of life are something to do, something to love, something to hope for. - Thomas Chalmers

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. - William Shakespeare

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

That best portion of a good man's life - his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. - William Wordsworth

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not. - Jodi Picoult

You have to do what you love to do, not get stuck in that comfort zone of a regular job. Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it. - Lucinda Basset

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

William Hurt has a painful last name. Kevin Love has a name perfect for February 14th. But what about Johnny Longdong? Where does he fit? - Jarod Kintz

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz


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26-Jan-2020