Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
Love one another as I have loved you. - Jesus Christ

My first love was the sound of guitar. - Boz Scaggs

Love in its essence is spiritual fire. - Emanuel Swedenborg

The best love affairs are those we never had. - Norman Lindsay

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato

If there were no love, there'd be no grief. - Zig Ziglar

Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. - Rumi

I will always love the false image I had of you. - Ashleigh Brilliant

There is not love of life without despair about life. - Albert Camus

Love shall be our token; love be yours and love be mine. - Christina Rossetti

I love super crispy, almost burned, snapping-crispy bacon. - David Lynch

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. - Maya Angelou

The chance to love and be loved exists no matter where you are. - Oprah Winfrey

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. - Unknown

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. - Bob Hope

Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you. - Loretta Young

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. - Mother Teresa

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others. - Andre Maurois

Always it's Spring,and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves. - e e cummings

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it. - Henry David Thoreau

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in. - Morrie Schwartz

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt. - Dorothy Parker

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. - Kin Hubbard

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. - Bill Cosby

Whoever loves much, performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well. - Vincent Van Gogh

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt. - Mark Twain

Love is like a puzzle. First it's confusing and frustrating, but when you figure it out, it's a beautiful thing. - Unknown

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present. - Marianne Williamson

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give. - Bertrand Russell

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner


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24-Feb-2021