[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
Lawyers are the jackals of commerce. - Elbert Hubbard
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown
Lawyers are seldom loved but often needed. - Robert B McKay
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown
Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart
Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner
We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine
Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry G Bohn
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.
Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson
Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius
So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa
The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle
Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown
It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz
Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence
Lawyers generally know too much of law to have a very clear perception of justice. - Eliza Cook
Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle
Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem
Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. - Will Rogers
That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
The question arises: whether all lawyers are the same. This is like asking whether everything that gets into a sewer is garbage. - Florynce R Kennedy
We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli
Lawyers are doubters, skeptics; not in a bad sense. But they never know any thing absolutely and utterly without qualifications or modifications. - G N Tillman
The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman
When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry
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