[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli
The law itself follows gold. - Propertius
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams
Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown
It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
Lawyers are like rabbits. They have a nasty habit of multiplying. - Leo Reilly
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. - Dalai Lama
You can not stop the spread of an idea by passing a law against it. - Harry S Truman
Lawyers are men who will swear black is white, if they are paid for it. - Edward Counsel
I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark
Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence
If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson
The four absolutes we all have in our minds: love, justice, evil, and forgiveness. - Ravi Zacharias
May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant
Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor
Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra
Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
I don't know as I want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire him to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan
Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow
Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov
Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda
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