[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno
All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover
We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle
In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato
Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial
The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker
Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries
The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham
You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln
My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller
The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr
Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas
The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman
What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele
Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France
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