[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli
The law itself follows gold. - Propertius
Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas
Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg
A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart
We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine
The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound
Law of the Supermarket: The other line moves faster. - Unknown
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Pre-Law: The major of a person who will end up in sales - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. - Unknown
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson
So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa
The United States is the greatest law factory the world has ever known. - Charles E Hughes
Layers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham
The first and fundamental law of nature is to seek out peace and follow it. - Thomas Hobbes
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson
Lawyers are like the knights of old. You can use them to plunder other people's stuff. - Gene Gordon
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France
Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton
Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell
A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young
There is never a deed so foul that something couldn't be said for the guy; that's why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli
It might be pardonable to refuse to defend some men, but to defend them negligently is nothing short of criminal. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods. - Albert Einstein
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. - Tim Allen
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France
When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry
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