Doctor’s Hunting Skills

Sizing up the duck hunting grounds


Five Doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead.

The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. “I’m not quite sure it’s a duck,” he said, “I think that I will have to get a second opinion.” And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.

Another bird appeared in the sky. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. “I’ll have to do some more investigations,” he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey’s identity. “Now, I know it’s a duck, but does it know it’s a duck?” The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon’s weapon pointed skywards. BOOM! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.
“Go see if that was a duck, will you?”


QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb

I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham

Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. - George Carlin

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - James Thurber

Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown


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20-Sep-2021