Five Doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead.
The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. “I’m not quite sure it’s a duck,” he said, “I think that I will have to get a second opinion.” And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.
Another bird appeared in the sky. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. “I’ll have to do some more investigations,” he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.
Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey’s identity. “Now, I know it’s a duck, but does it know it’s a duck?” The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.
Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon’s weapon pointed skywards. BOOM! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.
“Go see if that was a duck, will you?”
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I feel young, but my body doesn't agree. - Bryant Gumbel
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
Ugliness is a point of view; an ulcer is wonderful to a pathologist. - Austin O'Malley
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood
Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott
The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
I feel young, but my body doesn't agree. - Bryant Gumbel
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan
Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
Ugliness is a point of view; an ulcer is wonderful to a pathologist. - Austin O'Malley
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams
Problem solving is hunting. It is savage pleasure and we are born to it. - Thomas Harris
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
A psychiatrist is a man who goes to Les Folies Bergere and looks at the audience. - Mervyn Stockwood
Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez
I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind
First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George
The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette
A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine
What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton
Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
see also Doctor & Hunting Sections
Car Surgeon
Doctor Types
Hunters New Year’s Resolution
Mechanical Patient
 Foot Race |  2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  Lockdown Advice |  Wii Way |  Odor Detector |
 Associate Demonstration |  Biden in the Oval Office |  Poor Fishing Day |  Mustache Breeze |  Chain Weave Hairstyle |
 Jar of Birds |  Wheely Unstable |  Roman Segway Chariot |  Rocky Orders |  Snowmobile Races - Get There Early |
 Pocket Change |  Welcome to Texas, USPS |  Not Without A Washer |  Jogger's Weight Scale |  Toilet Snake |
20-Jan-2021 |