A man goes into the Doctor’s office feeling really bad. After a thorough examination the Doctor calls him into his office and says, “I have some bad news. You have HAGS.” Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb Astrology is a disease, not a science. - Maimonides The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. - P.J. O'Rourke The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but the feeling of being unwanted. - Mother Teresa You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine Asthma is a disease that has practically the same symptoms as passion except that with asthma it lasts longer. - Unknown Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism. - Robert Frost Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman see also Doctor & Medical Sections Do You Have An HMO? Ebola Diet Redneck Flu Shot |
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