Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, “Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!”
Pa replies, “There ain’t nuthin wrong with the outhouse.”
Ma yells back, “Yes there is, now git out there and fix it.”
So Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, “Ma! There ain’t nuthin wrong with the outhouse!”
Ma replies, “Stick yur head in the hole!”
Pa yells back, “I ain’t stickin my head in that hole!”
Ma says, “Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix.”
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, “Ma! There ain’t nuthin wrong with this outhouse!”
Ma hollers back, “Now take your head out of the hole!”
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, “Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!”
To which Ma replies, “Hurts, don’t it?”
Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Vaccination: An ouch of prevention - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
The person who broke you can't be the one to fix you. - Unknown
Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga
Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
Don't listen to their words, fix your attention on their deeds. - Albert Einstein
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed
Hod: (Southern) Not easy. Usage: 'A broken hot is hod to fix.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place! - P.J. O'Rourke
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking. - Stephen Covey
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
Vaccination: An ouch of prevention - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder
The person who broke you can't be the one to fix you. - Unknown
Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga
Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
Don't listen to their words, fix your attention on their deeds. - Albert Einstein
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed
Hod: (Southern) Not easy. Usage: 'A broken hot is hod to fix.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick
The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place! - P.J. O'Rourke
When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking. - Stephen Covey
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle
see also Bad Gas, Bathroom & Redneck Sections
Farmer’s Hole
Fix It Later Detour
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 Sharkini |  Julyed |  Filet Minion |  Better Singer |  Texas Basketball |
02-Jul-2022 |