Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, “Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!” Asphalt: Rectum trouble. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Vaccination: An ouch of prevention - Daffynitions joe-ks.com We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder The person who broke you can't be the one to fix you. - Unknown Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald Don't listen to their words, fix your attention on their deeds. - Albert Einstein Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed Hod: (Southern) Not easy. Usage: 'A broken hot is hod to fix.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place! - P.J. O'Rourke When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy Some habits of ineffectiveness are rooted in our social conditioning toward quick-fix, short-term thinking. - Stephen Covey The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle see also Bad Gas, Bathroom & Redneck Sections Farmer’s Hole Fix It Later Detour |
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