OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20) Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on
the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over
his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin,
however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of
seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius.
Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're
unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into
the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as
if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you,
so don't worry about it.
MOON PIE (Mar 21 - Apr 20) You're the type that spends a lot of time on the
front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big
and round are the key words here. This might be the year to think about
aerobics. Or - maybe not.
POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21) When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have
a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude.
Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This
strategy is probably not really healthy, but seems to work for you. One day,
however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over.
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office,
you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the
mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend
to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have a very intelligent
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23) Collards have a genius for communication. They love
to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of
those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and
baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay
away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart,
although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never
easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of
life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself.
You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel
though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go?
Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go
somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help your
fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones
- may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will
probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear.
You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain
way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people
will always pull over and stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans
get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've
grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You
can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with
ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but
you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some
roots, fruit, worms and insects. You’re a throwback. You're not concerned with
today's fashions and trends, or anything about today. You're really almost
prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry
another Armadillo, but Possum is another possibility.
Birthday, Calendar & Redneck Sections
Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners
Tennis Ball Retriever
Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time
Redneck Beer Opener
Dates For Everyone
Max Occupancy Rounded to 100
Awning Truck Advertising