Redneck Dog House

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

If light is in your heart, you will find your way home. - Rumi

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

That's the best part of going away for a vacation - coming home again. - Madeleine L'Engle

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

The summer movies are coming out! My advice: just stay home and burn a good book. - Stephen Colbert

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking. You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. - Cindy Ross

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

I am a gypsy. I haven't had a home for a long time. Call me a homeless person - I just throw everything in a bag and I'm good to go. - Taylor Kinney

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon