Gate Crasher - How NOT To Stop Your Car

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grove giveth and Gates taketh away. - Bob Metcalfe

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Both in thought and in feeling, even though time be real, to realise the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom. - Bertrand Russell

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Perseverance is a great element of success; if you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven.
And Saint Peter said, "Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here." - Mother Teresa

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

Bill Gates has always been a mentor and inspiration for me even before I knew him. Just growing up, I admired how Microsoft was mission-focused. - Mark Zuckerberg

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright