Gate Crasher - How NOT To Stop Your Car

Grove giveth and Gates taketh away. - Bob Metcalfe

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Trespassers prosecuted - please shut the gate. - Unknown

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

So many catastrophes in love are only accidents of egotism. - Hector Bianciotti

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

Humility before the flower at the timber line is the gate which gives access to the path up the open fell. - Dag Hammarskjold

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind. - Virginia Woolf

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright