Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
To teach is to learn twice. - Joseph Joubert

I never lose. I win or I learn. - Nelson Mandela

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. - Martin Fraquhar Tupper

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

The day you stop learning is the day you begin decaying. - Isaac Asimov

He who has imagination without learning, has wings and no feet. - Joseph Joubert

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

Thoroughly to teach another is the best way to learn for yourself. - Tyron Edwards

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. - Lewis Perelman

You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat. - Christy Mathewson

Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again. - Richard Branson

The road to learning by precept is long, but by example short and effective. - Seneca

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

I am convinced that the best learning takes place when the learner takes charge. - Seymour Papert

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at. - Lyn Karol

Sometimes when learning comes before experience it doesn't make sense right away. - Richard David Bach

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged to learn Latin. - Heinrich Heine

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. - John Steinbeck

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

I love solving puzzles, I love finding my way around obstacles, and I love learning new things about technology. - Kevin Mitnick

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Irish poets, learn your trade, sing whatever is well made, scorn the sort now growing up all out of shape from toe to top. - William Butler Yeats

We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do. - Samuel Smiles

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

As we grow up we think we lose our friends. But the truth is that we don't lose friends, we just learn who the real ones are. - Unknown

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Each one must learn for himself the highest wisdom. It cannot be taught in words. Men who work cannot dream, and wisdom comes to us in dreams. - Smohalla


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

Break Glass Adventure

Chinese Chicken Nuggets

Desert Road Bumps

Subway Swing

Fish Eye Lens

Horse Mask

Chocolate Filling

Mea Culpa Road

Pool Painters

Cocoon Stage

Eye For Coffee

Like No Udder

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Hammock Kayak

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09-Apr-2020