Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
To teach is to learn twice. - Joseph Joubert

Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Listen to learn. Learn to earn! - Rob Liano

I never lose. I win or I learn. - Nelson Mandela

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

The wisest mind has something yet to learn. - George Santanaya

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whatever is good to know is difficult to learn. - Greek Proverb

There is little you can learn from doing nothing. - Zig Ziglar

How do I learn to speak when silence is all I know? - Susie Clevenger

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century. - Lewis Perelman

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know. - Daniel J Boorstin

We tend to steer our lives in the direction of the lessons we need to learn. - Don Campbell

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. - C S Lewis

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams

Never be too big to ask questions. Never know too much to learn something new. - Og Mandino

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. - Jim Carrey

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight. - Mark Twain

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. - Kurt Vonnegut

People have got to learn: if they don't have cookies in the cookie jar, they can't eat cookies. - Suze Orman

A lot of problems would never be problems if we could learn to talk to each other instead of about each other. - Unknown

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant. - Plato

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Only in peace do we have joy. Not by acquiring things, not by doing things, not by earning or learning, but by dedication. - Swami Satchidananda

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Life doesn't make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all. - Erik Erikson

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
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03-Jul-2020