We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
We respect the Colorectal Surgeon
Miss a calling you would crave
Lift up your hands and join us -
Let’s all do the finger wave.
When it comes to spreading joy there are many techniques -
Some spread joy to the world, and others just spread cheeks;
Some may think the cardiologist is their best friend -
But the Colorectal Surgeon knows… he’ll get you in the end.
Why be a Colorectal Surgeon?
It’s one of those mysterious things…
Is it because in natural prescience
There are always openings?
When I first met a Colorectal Surgeon
He did not quite understand
I said, “Heh, it’s nice to meet you, but do you mind - we don’t shake hands.”
He sailed right through medical school because he was a whiz
Oh, but he never thought of psychology though he read passages…
A doctor he once had to be, for golf he loved to play –
But this is not quite what he meant – by 18 holes a day.
We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
Thanks to the Canadian comedy duo Bowser and Blue
QuotaBills
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Sickness soaks the purse. - International Proverb
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin
You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
Sickness soaks the purse. - International Proverb
Gangrene: To be feeling sick - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch
Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura
There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker
Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney
He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci
The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin
You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins
There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman
If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise
When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
 Popcorn Cremation |  Bus Stop |  Police De-Tail: Down-Wind Protocol |  Tell Me Why You Can't Work |  Canadian Drive-Thru |
 'Light Through Planes' Art |  Time Is Free |  Fashion Decisions |  Harley Truck |  Bird Person |
 Finger Cup |  Voices In My Head |  Carousel Escape |  Grandma Was Here |  Dinosaur Veterinarian |
 Reflective Art |  Lord Of The Watch |  Vegan Cell Phone |  Coffee Bean Grinder |  Why They Sing |
03-Aug-2020 |