We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Thanks to the Canadian comedy duo Bowser and Blue
Flew: Plane sickness. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts Deliver: An organ in de body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno Consuming mushrooms regularly has been associated with decreased risk of breast, stomach and colorectal cancers. - Joel Fuhrman Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child 'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections Acceptable Doctors Sign Colon Celery Colorectal Exam For Dogs Constipated Mathematician Dog Proctologist Fart Facts First Proctologist Exam German Flatulence Control Menopause Sucks One Wee Scottish Farty Proctologist Call Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice Singing Gynecologist |
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