We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
We respect the Colorectal Surgeon
Miss a calling you would crave
Lift up your hands and join us -
Let’s all do the finger wave.
When it comes to spreading joy there are many techniques -
Some spread joy to the world, and others just spread cheeks;
Some may think the cardiologist is their best friend -
But the Colorectal Surgeon knows… he’ll get you in the end.
Why be a Colorectal Surgeon?
It’s one of those mysterious things…
Is it because in natural prescience
There are always openings?
When I first met a Colorectal Surgeon
He did not quite understand
I said, “Heh, it’s nice to meet you, but do you mind - we don’t shake hands.”
He sailed right through medical school because he was a whiz
Oh, but he never thought of psychology though he read passages…
A doctor he once had to be, for golf he loved to play –
But this is not quite what he meant – by 18 holes a day.
We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
Thanks to the Canadian comedy duo Bowser and Blue
QuotaBills
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller
There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
Consuming mushrooms regularly has been associated with decreased risk of breast, stomach and colorectal cancers. - Joel Fuhrman
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball
Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
If you removed all the arteries, veins, and capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end... the person will die. - Neil deGrasse Tyson
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller
There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem
Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson
The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale
Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley
Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy Parker
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Mental will is a muscle that needs exercise, just like muscles of the body. - Lynn Jennings
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller
A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald
I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen
You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
Consuming mushrooms regularly has been associated with decreased risk of breast, stomach and colorectal cancers. - Joel Fuhrman
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid
Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball
Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall
If you removed all the arteries, veins, and capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end... the person will die. - Neil deGrasse Tyson
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
 Venice on a Shoestring Budget |  New Truck Key |  Spiderman's Car |  Knife Throwing Act |  Another Day In Traffic |
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 Yoga Pants |  Baby Illusion |  Mother Wrench's Gripping Story |  Sechelt Sunrays |  Russian BiteLifter |
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29-Oct-2020 |