We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
We respect the Colorectal Surgeon
Miss a calling you would crave
Lift up your hands and join us -
Let’s all do the finger wave.
When it comes to spreading joy there are many techniques -
Some spread joy to the world, and others just spread cheeks;
Some may think the cardiologist is their best friend -
But the Colorectal Surgeon knows… he’ll get you in the end.
Why be a Colorectal Surgeon?
It’s one of those mysterious things…
Is it because in natural prescience
There are always openings?
When I first met a Colorectal Surgeon
He did not quite understand
I said, “Heh, it’s nice to meet you, but do you mind - we don’t shake hands.”
He sailed right through medical school because he was a whiz
Oh, but he never thought of psychology though he read passages…
A doctor he once had to be, for golf he loved to play –
But this is not quite what he meant – by 18 holes a day.
We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
Thanks to the Canadian comedy duo Bowser and Blue
QuotaBills
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts
Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett
Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon. - Kurt Vonnegut
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis
Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown
A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin
I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero
Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris
Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson
The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes
There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel
NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
There is but one temple in the universe and that is the body of man. - Novalis
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter
The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel
One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett
Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley
The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald
Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown
The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley
No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild
When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
The world was made for the body. The body was made for the soul. And the soul was made for God. - Ravi Zacharias
Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
I had a job selling hearing aids from door to door. It wasn't easy, because your best prospects never answered. - Bob Monkhouse
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon. - Kurt Vonnegut
Getting wrapped up in worries is bad for your body and spirit. That's when you must short out your logic circuits and reboot your heart. - Pokemon
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown
In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart
Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
 2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  Great White |  Turnip Party |  Newfie Cab Driver - Can You Guess His Number? |  Identity Theft |
 Nothing Can Stop Me Now |  Colsed School |  Google Snowball |  Bike Barrow |  Can You Find the Hidden Bird? |
 Snowpy |  Canadian Winter Smile |  Leteracy Night |  Age Comes With Convenience |  Wife Of The Year |
 GhetToes |  Flippin' |  Double Vision |  Dodgy Ticker |  Put On A Happy Face |
18-Jan-2022 |