We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
We respect the Colorectal Surgeon
Miss a calling you would crave
Lift up your hands and join us -
Let’s all do the finger wave.
When it comes to spreading joy there are many techniques -
Some spread joy to the world, and others just spread cheeks;
Some may think the cardiologist is their best friend -
But the Colorectal Surgeon knows… he’ll get you in the end.
Why be a Colorectal Surgeon?
It’s one of those mysterious things…
Is it because in natural prescience
There are always openings?
When I first met a Colorectal Surgeon
He did not quite understand
I said, “Heh, it’s nice to meet you, but do you mind - we don’t shake hands.”
He sailed right through medical school because he was a whiz
Oh, but he never thought of psychology though he read passages…
A doctor he once had to be, for golf he loved to play –
But this is not quite what he meant – by 18 holes a day.
We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
Thanks to the Canadian comedy duo Bowser and Blue
QuotaBills
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
Sickness soaks the purse. - International Proverb
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller
I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. - George Carlin
Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil
Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown
I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I've tried body surfing. It's nice. - Ziggy Marley
Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb
Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown
The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright
A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer
I have the body of an 18-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans
Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb
Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale
Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome
Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. - Dorothy Parker
Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown
I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown
In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. - Oscar Wilde
I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath
Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller
I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball
The public needs to know - they need to know as much about atrial fibrillation as they do about cancer and diabetes. - Barry Manilow
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry
Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. - George Carlin
Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams
You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield
I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
 Vatican Chess |  Pentecost Sunday |  Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs |  Organ Donor |  Moldy Bible |
 Gyprock Prayer |  Barn Art |  Submarine Tea |  NAACP Cover Up |  Quad Shot |
 Princess Parking |  Restaurant Wait-er |  How Much Is That Doggie In The Window? |  Butterfly Lens |  Pike Mouth Nest |
 Improvise, Adapt, Overcome |  Flower Lips |  Bird Walker |  Never Go Full Retard |  Multi-Pilot Jet |
31-May-2020 |