We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
We respect the Colorectal Surgeon
Miss a calling you would crave
Lift up your hands and join us -
Let’s all do the finger wave.
When it comes to spreading joy there are many techniques -
Some spread joy to the world, and others just spread cheeks;
Some may think the cardiologist is their best friend -
But the Colorectal Surgeon knows… he’ll get you in the end.
Why be a Colorectal Surgeon?
It’s one of those mysterious things…
Is it because in natural prescience
There are always openings?
When I first met a Colorectal Surgeon
He did not quite understand
I said, “Heh, it’s nice to meet you, but do you mind - we don’t shake hands.”
He sailed right through medical school because he was a whiz
Oh, but he never thought of psychology though he read passages…
A doctor he once had to be, for golf he loved to play –
But this is not quite what he meant – by 18 holes a day.
We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.
Thanks to the Canadian comedy duo Bowser and Blue
QuotaBills
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I feel young, but my body doesn't agree. - Bryant Gumbel
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
I have the body of an eighteen-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham
Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard
I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet
I feel young, but my body doesn't agree. - Bryant Gumbel
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns
Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron
When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter
Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur
There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem
After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb
There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb
There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana
Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body. - Seneca
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea. - Isak Dinesen
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx
I have the body of an eighteen-year-old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett
Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher
Would you take all these pains about your looks if every body was blind? - Charles Finney
A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb
The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar
Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh
Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar
The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse
A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham
Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler
One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk
The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst
It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham
Happiness is beneficial for the body but it is grief that develops the power of the mind. - Marcel Proust
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher
Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard
The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer
Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger
Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce
My physician has become warden of my medically imprisoned body, pharmaceuticals the bars on my cell. - Grey E. Livingston
Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer
A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson
The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull
Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee
Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes
Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child
I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi
There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden
Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay
Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul. - John Muir
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin
My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan
When a woman puts on a heel, she has a different posture, a different attitude. She really stands up and has a consciousness of her body. - Christian Louboutin
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid
I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry
Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler
see also Bad Gas & Doctor Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist
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 Life's Choices |  Two Of Each |  Napoleon |  Tomorrow |  You Turn |
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30-Mar-2020 |