Colorectal Surgeon Praise  Audio Clip

Watch out for Colorectal Surgeons – they’ll get you in the end!


We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.

We respect the Colorectal Surgeon
Miss a calling you would crave
Lift up your hands and join us -
Let’s all do the finger wave.

When it comes to spreading joy there are many techniques -
Some spread joy to the world, and others just spread cheeks;
Some may think the cardiologist is their best friend -
But the Colorectal Surgeon knows… he’ll get you in the end.

Why be a Colorectal Surgeon?
It’s one of those mysterious things…
Is it because in natural prescience
There are always openings?

When I first met a Colorectal Surgeon
He did not quite understand
I said, “Heh, it’s nice to meet you, but do you mind - we don’t shake hands.”

He sailed right through medical school because he was a whiz
Oh, but he never thought of psychology though he read passages…
A doctor he once had to be, for golf he loved to play –
But this is not quite what he meant – by 18 holes a day.

We praise the Colorectal Surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned;
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don’t shine.



Thanks to the Canadian comedy duo Bowser and Blue

QuotaBills
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Sickness soaks the purse. - International Proverb

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Deliver: An organ in de body - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Diabetes taught me discipline. - Sonia Sotomayor

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror. - Danny Zuker

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

When I first found out I had diabetes I denied it. - Nell Carter

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

A sweating ovary or a sick prostate explains most history. - Martin H. Fischer

Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson

You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body. - C S Lewis

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

What air is to the body, to feel understood is to the heart. - Stephen Covey

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

In these times, God's people must trust him for rest of body and soul. - David Wilkerson

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Lake: Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar

Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope of a cure. - Jane Austen

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

We have so many words for states of mind, and so few words for the states of the body. - Jeanne Moreau

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen

A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody. - Thomas Paine

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Diabetes is a great example whereby, giving the patient the tools, you can manage yourself very well. - Clayton Christensen

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Concentrating on poses clears the mind, while focusing on the breath helps the body shift out of fight or flight mode. - Melanie Haiken

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

If you removed all the arteries, veins, and capillaries from a person's body, and tied them end-to-end... the person will die. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain


see also   Bad Gas  &  Doctor  Sections
Acceptable Doctors Sign
Colon Celery
Colorectal Exam For Dogs
Constipated Mathematician
Dog Proctologist
Fart Facts
First Proctologist Exam
German Flatulence Control
Menopause Sucks
One Wee Scottish Farty
Proctologist Call
Proctologist’s Second-Hand Prescription
Psychiatrist’s Patient Advice
Singing Gynecologist

 

Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

17-Oct-2021