1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of “Guns & Ammo” magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
We’ve gone for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the postman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house.
Better wait outside. Be right back.
Home & Security Sections
Daily Rain Gauge
Do Not Touch Sign
Giant Step For Mankind
On This Site in 1897
Ship Shipping Ships
The Power Of Faith
Jesus Was Here
Palm Sunday Social Distancing Service
Pine Trees Know When It's Easter
Beware Of Who Is Watching Over Your Church
Kick Out Boxing
Patience and Wisdom
Dead Sea Burgers