Redneck Lawn Chair

Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. - Proverb

A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule. - Michael Pollan

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first. - Chinese Proverb

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down. - Romanian and Russian Proverb

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

If you stand up and be counted, someone will take your seat. - Unknown

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

The seat of knowledge is in the head, of wisdom, in the heart. - William Hazlitt

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn. - Andrew V. Mason

Books are no different from goats - they enjoy an afternoon out on the lawn. - Kate Bernheimer

Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious. - Ruth Reichl

Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know - and he always wore his seat belt. - Ice Cube

Committee work is like a soft chair - easy to get into but hard to get out of. - Kenneth J Shively

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. - W S Gilbert

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

Stay in your seat come times of trouble. Its only people who jump off the roller coaster who get hurt. - Paul Harvey

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again. - Britt Ekland

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com