Farmer’s Hole

How a Redneck adapts to change on the farm


One morning a farmer happened to be sharing his two-seater outhouse with his none-too-bright brother-in-law.

“Darnit,” cursed the farmer as he pulled up his overalls. “Dropped a quarter in the dang hole.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll get it for you,” offered his companion cheerfully, pulling out a $5 bill and tossing it into the farmer’s hole.

“What’d you do that for?” asked the bewildered farmer.

“Heck, you didn’t think I’d go down there just for a quarter, did you?”



QuotaBills
A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

He does not own money whose money owns him. - St. Cyprian

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. - WC Fields

I sell frosting for money. I'm a frostitute. - Unknown

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

Money follows passion - not the other way around. - Unknown

Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion. - Tony Hsieh

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - Unknown

A grandfather carries pictures where his money used to be. - Joe-kster

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

Enjoy money while you have it. Shrouds don't have pockets. - Virginia Esberg

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart. - Jonathan Swift

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. - Robert Benchley

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. - Miles Kington

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes. - Gore Vidal

Business, that's easily defined - it's other people's money. - Peter F Drucker

Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money. - Johnny Cash

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence. - Henry Chester

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one. - Homer Simpson

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

People confuse amassing money with security, but it is not so. What a pity to confuse real security with making money. - Billy Graham

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey

Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump


see also   Bathroom,  Farm,  Flatulent  &  Redneck  Sections
Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters
Fix The Outhouse, Pa!

 

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25-Feb-2021