Farmer’s Hole

How a Redneck adapts to change on the farm


One morning a farmer happened to be sharing his two-seater outhouse with his none-too-bright brother-in-law.

“Darnit,” cursed the farmer as he pulled up his overalls. “Dropped a quarter in the dang hole.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll get it for you,” offered his companion cheerfully, pulling out a $5 bill and tossing it into the farmer’s hole.

“What’d you do that for?” asked the bewildered farmer.

“Heck, you didn’t think I’d go down there just for a quarter, did you?”



QuotaBills
He who marries for money earns it. - Hebrew Proverb

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Bloods’ not thicker than money. - Groucho Marx

I find all this money a considerable burden. - J Paul Getty

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

Fidelity bought with money can be overcome by money. - Seneca

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

Capitalism is using its money; we socialists throw it away. - Fidel Castro

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. - Robert Benchley

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. - Miles Kington

Money can't buy you friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan

I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is. - Paul Harvey

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Gentility is what is left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone. - John Ciardi

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

Money itself doesn't interest me. But you must make money to go on building the business. - Rupert Murdoch

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

I actually lost 90 pounds over the course of 15 months in order to save money on life insurance. - Derek Kilmer

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Ogden Nash

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump


see also   Bathroom,  Farm,  Flatulent  &  Redneck  Sections
Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters
Fix The Outhouse, Pa!

 

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10-Dec-2019