Farmer’s Hole

How a Redneck adapts to change on the farm


One morning a farmer happened to be sharing his two-seater outhouse with his none-too-bright brother-in-law.

“Darnit,” cursed the farmer as he pulled up his overalls. “Dropped a quarter in the dang hole.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll get it for you,” offered his companion cheerfully, pulling out a $5 bill and tossing it into the farmer’s hole.

“What’d you do that for?” asked the bewildered farmer.

“Heck, you didn’t think I’d go down there just for a quarter, did you?”



QuotaBills
Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

Money doesn't talk, it swears. - Bob Dylan

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Money: the poor man's credit card. - Marshal McLuhan

Nobody every lost money taking a profit. - Bernard Baruch

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Stop chasing the money and start chasing the passion. - Tony Hsieh

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - Unknown

After money in the bank, a grudge is the next best thing. - Anthony Trollope

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D Rockefeller

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Beware of those who would pay you lip service but refuse to put their money where their mouths are. - Faydra D. Fields

It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde

Anything which is physically possible can always be made financially possible; money is a bugaboo of small minds. - Robert A. Heinlein

If you put all your strength and faith and vigor into a job, and try to do the best you can, the money will come. - Lawrence Welk

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. - Andy Borowitz

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't need to advertise it. - Will Rogers

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


see also   Bathroom,  Farm,  Flatulent  &  Redneck  Sections
Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters
Fix The Outhouse, Pa!

 

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30-Oct-2020