Farmer’s Hole

How a Redneck adapts to change on the farm


One morning a farmer happened to be sharing his two-seater outhouse with his none-too-bright brother-in-law.

“Darnit,” cursed the farmer as he pulled up his overalls. “Dropped a quarter in the dang hole.”

“Don’t worry, buddy, I’ll get it for you,” offered his companion cheerfully, pulling out a $5 bill and tossing it into the farmer’s hole.

“What’d you do that for?” asked the bewildered farmer.

“Heck, you didn’t think I’d go down there just for a quarter, did you?”



QuotaBills
Money is the best cosmetic. - International Proverb

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

When money speaks, truth keeps silent. - Russian Proverb

Too much money ain't enough money. - Lil Wayne

Nobody every lost money taking a profit. - Bernard Baruch

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

Here's the money for our patentcy (patent). - Archie Bunker

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance. - Claus Moser

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. - George Burns

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude. - Richard Pryor

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. - Kin Hubbard

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason

There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. - Phyllis Diller

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. (Friend or Money!) - Unknown

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. - Bob Hope

They say love is more important than money. Have you tried paying your bills with a hug? - Dave Chapelle

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump

Work like you don't need the money, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt. - Mark Twain

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher


see also   Bathroom,  Farm,  Flatulent  &  Redneck  Sections
Farmer’s Pond Advice for Youngsters
Fix The Outhouse, Pa!

 

Unattended Children

ThrowYo

Cell Phone Warning

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Husband Creche

Undertaker Bike

Road Sign Dictionary

Sandal Security

House Appraisal

Tongue Twister

Class Notes

The Perfect Male

Welfare Dogs

Internet Surfing

Chipotie Burger

Ant Virus

K9 Construction

Fork In The Road

Before Twitter

Drink And Drive Directions
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09-Jul-2020