Atheist Professor

A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”

QuotaBills
damn with faint praise - Alexander Pope

God forgive you, but I never can. - Elizabeth I

I did my best, and God did the rest. - Hattie McDaniel

A human life is a story told by God. - Hans Christian Andersen

Tea is a religion of the art of life. - Okakura Kakuzo

God sends meat - the Devil sends cooks. - Charles VI

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. - Woody Allen

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

I should not believe in a God who does not dance. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

God gives nothing to those who keep their arms crossed. - African Saying

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. - Unknown

God is at home, it's we who have gone out for a walk. - Meister Eckhart

There is no uncreated being except God. God has no opposite. - C S Lewis

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

I am inclined to believe that this is the land God gave to Cain. - Jacques Cartier

God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him. - Jim Elliot

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble. - Bible

In doing what we ought we deserve no praise, because it is our duty. - St. Augustine

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein

I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. - Oscar Wilde

God's mercy and grace give me hope - for myself, and for our world. - Billy Graham

The belly is the reason why man does not so readily take himself for a god. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another. - Jonathan Swift

may I be I is the only prayer - not may I be great or good or beautiful or wise or strong. - e e cummings

Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue. - Plato

I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows. - Susan B Anthony

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

Sometimes you cannot worship from your strength but you must choose to worship from your faith. - Unknown

In order to have faith in his own path, he does not need to prove that someone else's path is wrong. - Paulo Coelho

If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity. - C S Lewis

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton

Discipleship does not come from positions of prominence, wealth, or advanced learning. The disciples of Jesus came from all walks of life. - James E Faust

Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell

see also Religious Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Autographed Copy
Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
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Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Golfing Nun
Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

Atheist Professor

Religious brain child

01-Jun-2020