Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
What has God wrought? - Samuel Morse

damn with faint praise - Alexander Pope

God is in the details. - Ludwig Mies van der Rohe

Just praise is only a debt. - G Berkeley

He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - William Shakespeare

You had no faith to lose and you know it. - Bob Dylan

God is not interested in your art but, your heart. - Ifeanyi E. Onuoha

God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions. - Voltaire

Many people believe in God, but not many believe God. - Mark Dudley

I had to deny knowledge in order to make room for faith. - Immanuel Kant

Care more for a grain of faith than a ton of excitement. - Charles Spurgeon

The day before me is fraught with God knows what horrors. - John Kennedy Toole

Use those God-given assets and be sexy, at least to a point. - Donald Trump

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy. - Sir Peter Ustinov

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Dr Donne's verses are like the peace of God - they pass all understanding. - James I

Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us - God will avenge us. - Jacques de Molay

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden. - Corrie ten Boom

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

Most of us forget to take time for wonder, praise and gratitude until it is almost too late. - Faith Baldwin

He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker

The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

Faith isn't about always having all the answers. Faith is about believing that God will always come through for you. - Unknown

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

When you inhale, you are taking the strength from God. When you exhale, it represents the service you are giving to the world. - B.K. Iyengar

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Autographed Copy
Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Golfing Nun
Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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31-Mar-2020