Atheist Professor

A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.” One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it. While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?” He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.” The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered. She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.” QuotaBills What has God wrought? - Samuel Morse damn with faint praise - Alexander Pope God is in the details. - Ludwig Mies van der Rohe Just praise is only a debt. - G Berkeley He has not so much brain as ear-wax. - William Shakespeare You had no faith to lose and you know it. - Bob Dylan God is not interested in your art but, your heart. - Ifeanyi E. Onuoha God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions. - Voltaire Many people believe in God, but not many believe God. - Mark Dudley I had to deny knowledge in order to make room for faith. - Immanuel Kant Care more for a grain of faith than a ton of excitement. - Charles Spurgeon The day before me is fraught with God knows what horrors. - John Kennedy Toole Use those God-given assets and be sexy, at least to a point. - Donald Trump A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy. - Sir Peter Ustinov God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel Dr Donne's verses are like the peace of God - they pass all understanding. - James I Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us - God will avenge us. - Jacques de Molay I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden. - Corrie ten Boom The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean Most of us forget to take time for wonder, praise and gratitude until it is almost too late. - Faith Baldwin He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker The Bible, if ya read it you'd know. It's right in the beginning there, in the Book of Generous. - Archie Bunker Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue Faith isn't about always having all the answers. Faith is about believing that God will always come through for you. - Unknown Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover When you inhale, you are taking the strength from God. When you exhale, it represents the service you are giving to the world. - B.K. Iyengar One need not be a chamber to be haunted; One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing Material place. - Emily Dickinson If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche see also   Religious  Section Brain Logic Ain’t Peter's Place All Dogs Go To Heaven An Evening Prayer Autographed Copy Biblical Humour Breakable Postal Package Catch Up With Jesus Church Sign Generator Church Sign Messages Church Signs Da End Iss Near Daily Inspiration Day of Light and Darkness Dead Sea Fish Equal Rights Church For Your Synths God’s Little Instructions Golfing Nun Halo to the Holy Dog How To Tweet Others In-Spired Safety Tip Job Interview With God John The Baptist Souvenirs Letters to God - From Children New School Prayer Organ Donor Please Help My Car Rabbi Road Redneck Revenge Reformed Buddhists Superior Church The End Is Near The Eye of God The Very First King Size Bed Wash Away Sins With The Pope World’s Oldest Menorah Youth Pastor’s Last Speech   Sun Tan Sales Ice Age Cake Wailea Splendour Me No Study Peter Cotton Ale Social Distancing Champ GPS Directions Secret Exit Clippendales Starborks Post-Apocalyptical Section Hide And Sikh Yoga Pants Really Good Day Be Someone My Time Algebra Relationship Mask Shortage Exit Not Found Early Shave

31-Mar-2020