Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
What has God wrought? - Samuel Morse

God bless us every one! - Tiny Tim

Trust in God - but tie your camel tight. - Persian Proverb

God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Proverb

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. - W Somerset Maugham

The heart that is generous and kind most resembles God. - Robert Burns

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Tea is the magic key to the vault where my brain is kept. - Frances Hardinge

All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust. - J.M. Barrie

God may forgive your sins, but your nervous system won't. - Alfred Korzybski

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces. - Unknown

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

Praise adds nothing to beauty - makes it neither better nor worse. - Marcus Aurelius

Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy. - Sir Peter Ustinov

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory. - William Hazlitt

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

Whatever happens, abide steadfast in a determination to cling simply to God. - Francis de Sales

I may not be where I need to be but I thank God I'm not where I used to be! - Joyce Meyer

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

I am totally convinced the Christian faith is the most coherent worldview around. - Ravi Zacharias

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. - Oprah Winfrey

I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean

Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue. - Plato

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

The attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be. - Alan Watts

Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton

The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking. - Albert Einstein

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Blaise Pascal

Let nothing disturb thee,
Let nothing affright thee,
All things are passing,
God changeth never. - Teresa of Ávila

The antidote to frustration is a calm faith, not in your own cleverness, or in hard toil, but in God's guidance. - Norman Vincent Peale

Even if my strength should fail, my daring will win me praise: in might enterprises even the will to succeed is enough. - Propertius

When you inhale, you are taking the strength from God. When you exhale, it represents the service you are giving to the world. - B.K. Iyengar

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

Give your subconscious a chance to work by turning your brain off from time to time. Don't focus on work or solving problems constantly. - Harvey Mackay

The hallmark of religion is to distrust claims made for mortal men. It is in ages of great religious faith that great skepticism can find expression. - Malcolm Muggeridge

If you think that nobility consists of having sixteen ancestors rather than merit, great Prince, then you may - and you may also praise or condemn me. - Franz Grillparzer


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Autographed Copy
Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
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Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Golfing Nun
Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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19-Jan-2021