Atheist Professor

A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.” One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it. While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?” He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.” The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered. She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.” QuotaBills What has God wrought? - Samuel Morse God bless us every one! - Tiny Tim Trust in God - but tie your camel tight. - Persian Proverb God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Proverb People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. - W Somerset Maugham The heart that is generous and kind most resembles God. - Robert Burns Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. - Napoleon Bonaparte Tea is the magic key to the vault where my brain is kept. - Frances Hardinge All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust. - J.M. Barrie God may forgive your sins, but your nervous system won't. - Alfred Korzybski Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces. - Unknown Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono Praise adds nothing to beauty - makes it neither better nor worse. - Marcus Aurelius Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy. - Sir Peter Ustinov Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory. - William Hazlitt Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer Whatever happens, abide steadfast in a determination to cling simply to God. - Francis de Sales I may not be where I need to be but I thank God I'm not where I used to be! - Joyce Meyer We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton I am totally convinced the Christian faith is the most coherent worldview around. - Ravi Zacharias The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. - Oprah Winfrey I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean Let praise be given equally to women as well as men who have been distinguished in virtue. - Plato Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix The attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be. - Alan Watts Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but live for it. - Charles Caleb Colton The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking. - Albert Einstein In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Blaise Pascal Let nothing disturb thee, Let nothing affright thee, All things are passing, God changeth never. - Teresa of Ávila The antidote to frustration is a calm faith, not in your own cleverness, or in hard toil, but in God's guidance. - Norman Vincent Peale Even if my strength should fail, my daring will win me praise: in might enterprises even the will to succeed is enough. - Propertius When you inhale, you are taking the strength from God. When you exhale, it represents the service you are giving to the world. - B.K. Iyengar Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets Give your subconscious a chance to work by turning your brain off from time to time. Don't focus on work or solving problems constantly. - Harvey Mackay The hallmark of religion is to distrust claims made for mortal men. It is in ages of great religious faith that great skepticism can find expression. - Malcolm Muggeridge If you think that nobility consists of having sixteen ancestors rather than merit, great Prince, then you may - and you may also praise or condemn me. - Franz Grillparzer see also   Religious  Section Brain Logic Ain’t Peter's Place All Dogs Go To Heaven An Evening Prayer Autographed Copy Biblical Humour Breakable Postal Package Catch Up With Jesus Church Sign Generator Church Sign Messages Church Signs Da End Iss Near Daily Inspiration Day of Light and Darkness Dead Sea Fish Equal Rights Church For Your Synths God’s Little Instructions Golfing Nun Halo to the Holy Dog How To Tweet Others In-Spired Safety Tip Job Interview With God John The Baptist Souvenirs Letters to God - From Children New School Prayer Organ Donor Please Help My Car Rabbi Road Redneck Revenge Reformed Buddhists Superior Church The End Is Near The Eye of God The Very First King Size Bed Wash Away Sins With The Pope World’s Oldest Menorah Youth Pastor’s Last Speech   Eye Testing In Progress Parent Signature 2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars Long Bore Gun Bird Cam Lost Wormhole Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In Low Ceiling Workout Dog Diner Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners Cow Farts Revenge Gaping Hole Costume Redneck Water Skiing Harrison Ford Plenty of Room for God's Creatures Aussie Selfie Pyramid Kiss Piano Door Bell Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

19-Jan-2021