For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
A clear conscience is frequently the sign of a bad memory
Are you diagonally parked in a parallel universe?
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is, like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Perhaps you’re diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
7. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
8. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
9. Despite the high cost of living, it’s still extremely popular.
10. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
11.The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
12. Drive way too fast and you don’t have to worry about cholesterol.
13. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
14. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don’t expect it back.
15. Support bacteria; they’re the only culture some people have.
16. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence.
17. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
18. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
19. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
20. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
21. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
22. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
23.The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
24.The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
25.To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
26.To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
27.You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
28.The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough chlorine!)
29. A clear conscience is frequently the sign of a bad memory.
30. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
31. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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