We tried so
hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I’d like better.
I’d really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meatloaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he’s scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I hope you’ll let him.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don’t care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don’t like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor’s window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and hard work, disappointment and happiness. To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life. Written with a pen.
Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore
Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx
Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil
Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North
Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields
If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles
One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn
Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you
known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey
Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons
Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain
Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
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