We tried so
hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I’d like better.
I’d really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meatloaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he’s scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I hope you’ll let him.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don’t care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don’t like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor’s window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and hard work, disappointment and happiness. To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life. Written with a pen.
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin
Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer
The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb
Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx
Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
The two enemies of human happiness are pain and boredom. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton
Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain. - Charlie Chaplin
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot
Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown
Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain
He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss
Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein
One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett
If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb
You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller
People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders
I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker
Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser
If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke
I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie
While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
Where we always start is: What's the user's itch? What's their pain point that occurs frequently enough to build a habit around? - Nir Eyal
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