Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjabi Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
Punjabi Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact, our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! I take great pleasure in announcing that starting this year, over 50 per cent of our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don’t quite make it, Punjabi Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the kith and kin. Our stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth, pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits, provided you have paid for the coupons twice!
For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
Smoking is not allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunts and swimming shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. However, if we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can’t find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase.
Sorry, but I won’t be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew’s wedding. Thank you for choosing Punjabi Airways. Have a nice journey!
Don't just fly, soar. - Walt Disney
Conference: Hot air on a high level. - Gerald Barzan
It's opener there in the wide open air. - Dr. Seuss
Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin
Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky
If you cannot teach me to fly, teach me to sing. - J M Barrie
The press is like the air, a chartered libertine. - William Pitt The Elder
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown
I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying. - Unknown
The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton
Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller
This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy
I have wings on the back of my shoulders and I'm ready to fly. - Pamela Laskin
For those determined to fly, having no wings is just a little detail. - Unknown
Every rupee of profit made by an Englishman is lost for ever to India. - Edmund Burke
Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker
If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams
Pigs had just officially sprouted wings and were flying alongside airplanes. - Jennifer L Armentrout
The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell
With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan
Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore
The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie
It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert
Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie
Time passes too fast. Like a hummingbird flying by, it's just a blur to my eyes. - Amanda Leigh
Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam
She would stay there, flying across the sea like a mermaid with wings, until the end. - Natalia Marx
The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb
You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown
Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha
I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson
Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau
Living as we do in an age of noise and bluster, success is now measured accordingly. We must all be seen, and heard, and on the air. - Daphne du Maurier
Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz
Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato
This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi
Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo
Airplane, Nationality, Safety & Stress Sections
Airbus 2006 - A Tale of Two Pilots
Amish Airlines - Maiden Voyage
India Airlines Economy Flight
Invisible Air Force One
Kulula Airlines - Flying 101
Lutheran Airlines – New Service in Minnesnowta
Middle East Airlines
Plain Plane Seat
Umbrella For Two
Pedal Operated Washing Machine
Just Chillin' Out
Sing It Out
Racing a 'Hot Rod'
Nemo Found at Japanese Sushi Bar
Painting The Center Line