Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjabi Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
Punjabi Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact, our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! I take great pleasure in announcing that starting this year, over 50 per cent of our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don’t quite make it, Punjabi Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the kith and kin. Our stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth, pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits, provided you have paid for the coupons twice!
For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
Smoking is not allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunts and swimming shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. However, if we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can’t find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase.
Sorry, but I won’t be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew’s wedding. Thank you for choosing Punjabi Airways. Have a nice journey!
There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb
The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown
Never eat spinach just before going on the air. - Dan Rather
Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb
You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson
Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown
Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what is dangerous. - Unknown
I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying. - Unknown
Germany may have recovered a flying saucer as early as 1939. - Jimmy Doolittle
Don't be scared to fly along. Find a path that is your own. - Unknown
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire
Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
I have wings on the back of my shoulders and I'm ready to fly. - Pamela Laskin
For those determined to fly, having no wings is just a little detail. - Unknown
If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb
The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell
Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore
I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright
Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan
In the dark days of your life, you will need the wings of hope to continue flying. - Mehmet M Ildan
The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb
Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity. - G K Chesterton
Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan
I don't know about flying, but sometimes it feels like I have these little wings on my feet. - Michael Jordan
We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown
Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha
Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest and let the spirits fly in and out. - Rumi
I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben
He who would learn to fly on day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
The understanding must not therefore be supplied with wings, but rather hung with weights, to keep it fro leaping and flying. - Francis Bacon
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau
It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin
The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? It is the same the angels breathe. - Mark Twain
From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey
Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato
This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi
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