Operator: “Thank you for calling Olympic Pizza. May I have your...”
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order.”
Operator: “May I have your NIDN first, sir?”
Customer: “My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh… it’s 6102049798-45-54610.”
Operator: “Thank you, Mr. Ward. I see you live at 1642 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number’s 495-2177. Your office number over at Squamish Insurance is 745-2305 and your cell number’s 276-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?”
Customer: “Huh? I’m at home. Where d’ya get all this information?”
Operator: “We’re wired into the system, sir.”
Customer: (Sighs) “Oh, well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special Luge pizzas - the one that the street luge guy almost ordered...”
Operator: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.”
Customer: “Whaddya mean?”
Operator: “Sir, your medical records indicate that you’ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.”
Customer: “Dang. What do you recommend, then?”
Operator: “You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.”
Customer: “What makes you think I’d like something like that?”
Operator: “Well, you checked out “Gourmet Soybean Recipes” on Google last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.”
Customer: “All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What’s that cost?”
Operator: “That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The “damage,” as you refer to in several of your past emails to us, comes to $49.99.”
Customer: “Lemme give you my credit card number.”
Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.”
Customer: “I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.”
Operator: “That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn.”
Customer: “Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How long will it take?”
Operator: “We’re running a little behind - it’ll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick ’em up while you’re out getting the
cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.”
Customer: “How the heck do you know I’m riding a bike?”
Operator: “It says here you’re in arrears on your car payments, so your car got reposessed. But your Harley’s paid up, so I just assumed that you’d be using it.”
Customer: “@#%/$@&?#!”
Operator: “I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.”
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: “Will there be anything else, sir?”
Customer: “No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don’t forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.”
Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.”
Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle
Order is the shape upon which beauty depends. - Pearl S. Buck
Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. - Henry Adams
Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work. - Bette Davis
We shall now proceed to construct the Socialist order. - Lenin
In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can. - Unknown
When you are thwarted, it is your own attitude that is out of order. - Meister Eckhart
The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order. - Jean Cocteau
In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision. - Dalai Lama
I keep on making what I can't do yet in order to learn to be able to do it. - Vincent van Gogh
I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. - Pablo Picasso
You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life. - Governor Grand Moff Tarkin
In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar
Zero: The number of times you’ve gotten to eat most of the pizza you ordered - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When I give a minister an order, I leave it to him to find the means to carry it out. - Napoleon Bonaparte
It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries
You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them. - P.T. Forsyth
In order to be big, you have to think big. If you think small, you're going to be small. - Emeril Lagasse
I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order as they should be. - Unknown
She needed the chaos within her in order to discover the extraordinary no man could ever reach. - Robert M. Drake
I actually lost 90 pounds over the course of 15 months in order to save money on life insurance. - Derek Kilmer
In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice. - Richard Bach
That's what storytellers do. We restore order with imagination. We instill hope again and again. - Walt Disney
Men are born with two eyes but with one tongue, in order that they may see twice as much as they say. - C.C. Colton
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. - Ludwig Wittgenstein
In order to have faith in his own path, he does not need to prove that someone else's path is wrong. - Paulo Coelho
In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it. - Mitch Albom
Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson
Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang
My mother reads the obituary page every day, but she could never understand how people always die in alphabetical order. - Frank Carson
I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana
Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir
Businesses should follow and learn from others' successes and failures in order to better understand and predict their own. - Ben Mezrich
The blood of Christ covers all of our sins, but each of us must do personal business with God in order to experience his forgiveness. - Lewis B Smedes
Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft
Most people spend most of their days doing what they do not want to do in order to earn the right, at times, to do what they may desire. - John Brown
My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas
Among creatures born into chaos, a majority will imagine an order, a minority will question the order, and the rest will be pronounced insane. - Robert Brault
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
see also Pizza, Relationship & Shopping Sections
Pizza Cutter
 Long Winter |  2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars |  New 50 Pence Coin |  Truck Art |  Redneck Chair Repair |
 Bus Head Rest |  How Big Was It? |  Islanders |  Extra Weight |  Snowgazers |
 Happy Australia Day! |  Starting Your Fireplace On The Roof |  Snow Prayers |  Snowbaru |  Mirror Image |
 Hurricane Protection |  Spot the Thief |  Firm Egg |  Winter Chair |  Storage Puzzle |
26-Jan-2022 |