Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
Big mouthfuls often choke. - Italian Proverb

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

You have to think anyway, so why not think big? - Donald Trump

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. - Stephen King

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. - Jonathan Kozol

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

If your dreams don't scare you, they are not big enough. - Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

Little children, little sorrows; big children, great sorrows. - Danish Proverb

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

Poor Faulkner, Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big. Wear glasses if you need 'em. - Webb Wilder

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure. - Joseph Campbell

If I had an ego as big as the Eiffel Tower, would I have won this many collective trophies? - Zlatan Ibrahimovic

Don't tell God that you have a big problem, tell your problem that you have a big God :) - Unknown

The control of large numbers is possible, and like unto that of small numbers, if we subdivide them. - Sun Tze

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. - David Lloyd George

Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude. - A.A. Milne

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts. - Albert Einstein

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

True contentment depends not upon what we have; a tub was large enough for Diogenes, but a world was too little for Alexander. - Charles Caleb Colton

What the insurance companies have done is to reverse the business so that the public at large insures the insurance companies. - Gerry Spence

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I become apprehensive when I observe people in large groups because they are often controlled by their emotions - and from there, emerge as mobs. - W. Andrew Welker

Don't listen to those who say you're taking too big a chance. If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. - Neil Simon


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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09-Dec-2019