Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
A big book is a big bore. - Callimachus

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. - Stephen King

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. - Johnny Carson

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

If your dreams don't scare you, they are not big enough. - Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

Don't be afraid to pray big prayers, we serve a big God. - Unknown

I also do my own processing, so it means a big commitment in lab time. - Leonard Nimoy

If you're going to have a story, have a big story, or none at all. - Joseph Campbell

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

Figuring out what the next big trend is tells us what we should focus on. - Mark Zuckerberg

The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark. - John Muir

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

You can never get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me. - C S Lewis

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Two armies that fight each other is like one large army that commits suicide. - Henri Barbusse

Never be too big to ask questions. Never know too much to learn something new. - Og Mandino

I am not worried about the deficit. It's big enough to take care of itself. - Ronald Reagan

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure. - Joseph Campbell

In order to be big, you have to think big. If you think small, you're going to be small. - Emeril Lagasse

The only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. - Frank A. Clark

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

The most satisfying thing in life is to have been able to give a large part of one's self to others. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Inherited wealth is a big handicap to happiness. It is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality. - William K Vanderbilt

I'll tell you, it's Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business. - Donald Trump

When ordinary people decide to step out and be part of something big, that's when they become extraordinary. - Brett Harris

One of my big regrets is that Facebook hasn't had a major chance to shape the mobile operating system ecosystem. - Mark Zuckerberg

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering, stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. - Dylan Moran


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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02-Mar-2021