Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
Big girls need big diamonds. - Elizabeth Taylor

Hunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown

I like big bucks and I cannot lie. - Unknown

No bed is big enough to hold three. - German Proverb

VR and AR are going to be a really big deal. - Mark Zuckerberg

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do. - Johnny Carson

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Big changes in our lives are more or less a second chance. - Harrison Ford

Don King is a big ... thief, and everyone in this room knows it. - Donald Trump

Pantomime is a big thing in the cultural calendar of my country. - Alan Cumming

I also do my own processing, so it means a big commitment in lab time. - Leonard Nimoy

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

My parents are very good examples of Christians. They are big on forgiveness. - James Acaster

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

We'll have a big bowl of spaghetti and a plate of some of that veal scallopeepee. - Archie Bunker

The world itself is but a large prison, out of which some are daily led to execution. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Nothing honors God more than a Big Dream that is way beyond our ability to accomplish. - Mark Batterson

Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big. Wear glasses if you need 'em. - Webb Wilder

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

In order to be big, you have to think big. If you think small, you're going to be small. - Emeril Lagasse

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn't have created large woolen pullovers. - Tracey Ullman

There is not one big cosmic meaning for all. There is only the meaning we each give to our life. - Anais Nin

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

Make big pots of soups, stews and chilis, they stretch a buck, and you can live off them for days. - Rachael Ray

The control of large numbers is possible, and like unto that of small numbers, if we subdivide them. - Sun Tze

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things. - Frank A. Clark

The best rule of thumb for character is to remember that if you can't be big, don't belittle. - Unknown

It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones. - Jean Webster

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

Inherited wealth is a big handicap to happiness. It is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality. - William K Vanderbilt

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If you like the outdoors, Colorado is a big adventure playground for adults: it's great for skiing, cycling, climbing, and hiking. - Tyler Hamilton

I'm very anxious to see who the fans choose for their favorite finalist. Their decision could have a big effect on my ultimate decision. - Donald Trump


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

Hairy Potter

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Crosswalk Casualty

The Tree Is Up, Dear

One Too Many

Owl Garden

GhetToes

Statue Pose

Magnetic Personality

Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip

Secruity Parking Spot

Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake

Remote Outdoors

Scaffolding for the Dirt Cheap Contractor

Fix It Later Detour

I Smell A Rat
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

01-Dec-2020