Hospital Outpatient Assistance - Like It Or Not

Wheelchair regulations


Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet - who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.

On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

“I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”




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Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. - George Bernard Shaw

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane. - Philip K. Dick

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


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06-Apr-2020