New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for “Woman” element



Hazardous Materials Woman Data Sheet

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS
ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.



QuotaBills
Women Liberteens - Archie Bunker

Some leaders are born women. - Unknown

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

I have a great relationship with Roger Ailes. - Donald Trump

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera


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30-Mar-2020