New Element in the Periodic Table

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet now available for “Woman” element



Hazardous Materials Woman Data Sheet

Element : WOMEN
Symbol : WO+
Atomic mass : Accepted as 53.6 Kg; isotopes may vary from 40-200 kg.
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all urban areas.

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
1. Boils at room temperature
2. Freezes without any known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter, if incorrectly used.
5. Sweet as Honey if given a proper treatment.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
1. Has great affinity for Gold, Silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

COMMON USES
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be great aid to relaxation.

TESTS
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy.
2. Turns green when placed behind a better specimen.

POTENTIAL HAZARD
Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained
at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact
with each other.

!! WARNING !!
PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE
FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS. BE CAUTIOUS
ABOVE PROPERTIES ARE SHOWN BY ALL THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD.



QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

So much work, so few women to do it. - Unknown

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman. - Jack Nicholson

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact. - Ambrose Bierce

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it. - Barbara Ehrenreich

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


see also   Chemistry,  Engineer  &  Relationship  Sections
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28-May-2020