1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4. Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade!
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
11. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn’t repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You’re diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it’s still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don’t have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don’t expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they’re the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach
49. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Everything in life is luck. - Donald Trump
Life is like the moon: now full, now dark. - Polish Saying
Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
Be the heroine of your life, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
I want my life to be something more than long. - Pippin
Life is a series of collisions with the future. - Jose Ortega Y Gasset
Life happens at the level of events, not words. - Unknown
All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name. - Andre Breton
Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. - Byrd Baggett
Too many times in life we see a need but hesitate to act on it. - Joe Segal
I live a very joyful life, with a lot of laughter and good times. - Kimberly Elise
Winners in life don't always win; they just don't give up. - Unknown
We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown
Life is a sewer. What you take out depends on what you put into it. - Tom Lehrer
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. - Jean de La Bruyere
He played the King in the game of life
But someone played the ace. - Gerald Barzan
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
To lose balance, sometimes, for love, is part of living in a balanced life. - Elizabeth Gilbert
Human life is but a series of footnotes to a vast obscure unfinished masterpiece. - Vladimir Nabokov
Life's a roller coaster, and you never know when it's going to take a turn. - Ty Pennington
People advising others often forget that the same advice applies to their life as well. - Anuj Somany
Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul. - Thomas Merton
All is pattern, all life, but we can't always see the pattern when we're part of it. - Belva Plain
The greatest tragedy in life is the prayers that go unanswered simply because they go unasked. - Mark Batterson
There is not one big cosmic meaning for all. There is only the meaning we each give to our life. - Anais Nin
Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life. - Eleanor Roosevelt
Everyone has the potential to live a fulfilling life. The difference lies in how we look at things. - Vishal Pandey
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? - Woody Allen
It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. - W Somerset Maugham
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. - Doug Larson
My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? - David Mitchell
I think people should have fun. And don't get so down on yourself. Enjoy life and be the best person you can be. - Keke Palmer
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato
Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating. - Richard Neville
If you want small changes in your life, work on your attitude. But if you want big and primary changes, work on your paradigm. - Stephen Covey
Being happy isn't having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe it's about stringing together all the little things. - Ann Brashares
One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mouse trap you set the night before. - Kin Hubbard
If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once every week. - Charles Darwin
I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
Bacon Is Life
Balanced Family Life
Better Start In Life
Extension of Life
Leading a Remote Life
Life And Beer Are Very Similar
Life Cycle of a Chicken
My Life Goal
My Life in Segments
One Of Life’s Equations
Secret For A Long, Happy Life
Sometimes Life Just Isn’t Fair
The Wheels of Life
Throw Your Life Away
When Life Gets You Down
2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars
The Tree Is Up, Dear
One Too Many
Giant Texas Red Centipede
Truck Lift Repair
In-Spired Safety Tip
Secruity Parking Spot
Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake
Scaffolding for the Dirt Cheap Contractor
Fix It Later Detour
I Smell A Rat