1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4. Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade!
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
11. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn’t repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You’re diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it’s still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don’t have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don’t expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they’re the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach
it.
49. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough
chlorine!)
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Life is a long lesson in humility. - Sir James M. Barrie
Life is too short to say no to donuts. - Unknown
Without duty, life is soft and boneless. - Joseph Joubert
The only disability in life is a bad attitude. - Scott Hamilton
Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. - Henry Adams
My life feels like a test I didn't study for. - Unknown
A student of life considers the world a classroom. - Harvey Mackay
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato
There is not love of life without despair about life. - Albert Camus
Life is "trying things to see if they work". - Ray Bradbury
Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran
Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. - Byrd Baggett
Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson
If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life. - Oscar Wilde
Glamour is on a life-support machine and not expected to live. - Joan Collins
We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet
There is no genius in life like the genius of energy and industry. - D.G. Mitchell
It takes no more time to see the good side of life than to see the bad. - Jimmy Buffett
The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron
It's not the men in my life that counts, it's the life in my men. - Mae West
Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile. - Phoebe L. Moll
I believe that if you'll just stand up and go, life will open up for you. - Tina Turner
The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. - Foster’s Law
The creed of a true saint is to make the best of life, and to make the most of it. - Edwin Hubbel Chapin
Lay hold of life with both hands, whenever thou mayest seize it, it is interesting. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
In one equation you can solve all the puzzles of life. It is the equation of giving. - Amit Ray
Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. - George Burns
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher
Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo
There comes a time in every life when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your heart. - Sarah Dessen
Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized. - Margaret Atwood
It is necessary to try to surpass one's self always; this occupation ought to last as long as life. - Queen Christina
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson
The challenge of work-life balance is without question one of the most significant struggles faced by modern man. - Stephen Covey
Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. - Robin Casarjian
There is no meaning to life except the meaning man gives his life by the unfolding of his powers, by living productively. - Erich Fromm
If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life. - Abraham Maslow
There's a long life ahead of you and it's going to be beautiful, as long as you keep loving and hugging each other. - Yoko Ono
see also Quotes Section
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
Bacon Is Life
Balanced Family Life
Better Start In Life
Extension of Life
Leading a Remote Life
Life And Beer Are Very Similar
Life Cycle of a Chicken
Life Extension
Life Sucks
Life’s Reflections
Monastery Life
My Life Goal
My Life in Segments
One Of Life’s Equations
Secret For A Long, Happy Life
Sometimes Life Just Isn’t Fair
The Wheels of Life
Throw Your Life Away
When Life Gets You Down
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01-Jul-2022 |