1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
2. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
3. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
4. Get a new car for your spouse. It’ll be a great trade!
5. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
6. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
7. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
8. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
9. How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
10. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
11. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
12. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
14. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
15. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
16. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
18. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
19. I couldn’t repair your brake, so I made your horn louder.
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
22. Just remember - if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until
you hear them speak.
24. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
25. A day without sunshine is like night.
26. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
27. Getting lost in thought may put you in unfamiliar territory.
28. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
29. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
30. You’re diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
31. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
32. Remember that half the people you know are below average.
33. Despite the high cost of living, it’s still extremely popular.
34. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
35. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
36. Drive way too fast and you don’t have to worry about cholesterol.
37. If you intend to live forever, so far, so good.
38. Borrow money only from pessimists; they don’t expect it back.
39. Support bacteria; they’re the only culture some people have.
40. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy the evidence.
41. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
42. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
43. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
44. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
45. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
46. Success always occurs in private; failure, in full view.
47. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
48. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach
49. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
50. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
51. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
52. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard (and not enough
53. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
54. If you think nobody cares try missing a couple of payments.
55. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Life is a zoo in a jungle. - Peter De Vries
My whole heart for my whole life. - French Saying
The best things in life are silly. - Scott Adams
Life didn't promise to be wonderful. - Teddy Pendergrass
The true object of all human life is play. - G K Chesterton
Life is too important to be taken seriously. - Oscar Wilde
The hardest years in life are those between 10 and 70. - Helen Hayes
Life is a dance. Mindfulness is witnessing that dance. - Amit Ray
There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur
All of our technology is completely unnecessary to a happy life. - Tom Hodgkinson
Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb
Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev
In the game of life, before you get anything out, you must put something in. - Zig Ziglar
When you start recognising that you're having fun, life can be delightful. - Jane Birkin
Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller
All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. - Ben Stein
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough
The greatest tragedy in life is the prayers that go unanswered simply because they go unasked. - Mark Batterson
The real tragedy of life is not being limited to one talent, but failing to use that one talent. - Unknown
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha
You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation. - Donald Trump
I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative. - Michael Losier
It is life's principle and you have to accept it as it comes; nothing happens when nothing is done. - Israelmore Ayivor
We don't understand life any better at forty than at twenty, but by then we realize it and admit it. - Jules Renard
You cannot tailor-make the situations in life, but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations. - Zig Ziglar
Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.
That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward. - Ernest Hemingway
Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan
The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life simply by altering his attitudes of mind. - William James
Having faith, beliefs, and convictions is a great thing, but your life is measured by the actions you take based upon them. - Nick Vujicic
Amazingly when you add life and consciousness to the equation you can actually explain some of the biggest puzzles of science. - Robert Lanza
Surgeons must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the Culprit - Life! - Emily Dickinson
Life can be magnificent and overwhelming - that is the whole tragedy. Without beauty, love, or danger it would almost be easy to live. - Albert Camus
I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala
When you forgive a wrongdoing, you give yourself peace of mind; you can go about your life with a feeling of serenity and be grateful again. - Unknown
Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
Bacon Is Life
Balanced Family Life
Better Start In Life
Extension of Life
Leading a Remote Life
Life And Beer Are Very Similar
Life Cycle of a Chicken
My Life Goal
My Life in Segments
One Of Life’s Equations
Secret For A Long, Happy Life
Sometimes Life Just Isn’t Fair
The Wheels of Life
Throw Your Life Away
When Life Gets You Down
Water Skier A-Head Of His Time
Owlympics Ice Skating
Shining Armor Knight
Smile For The Day
Morning Saving Time
Kangaroo On Ice
Olympic Torch Bearers
Alligators vs. Crocodiles