1. Blonde: “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I
needed was turn signal fluid.”
Husband: Someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
3. “I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.”
4. If you can’t be a good example then be a horrible warning.
5. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.
6. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It’s called “Ministers Do More Than Lay People.”
7. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it’s gone.
8. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.
9. The difference between the Pope and your boss: the Pope only Expects you to kiss his ring.
10. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
Inspiration, Language & Relationship Sections
Forever Clean Toilet
Up-Set & Hungry Trucks
What Are Your Skills?
Portable Barber Shop
Anger Release Machine
Wake Me At Noon
Holstein or Holestein?
Word Puzzle Clock
Scenic Western Pennsylvania
Free Nobel Peace Prize
Teach Our Children Well