Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert

When my father didn't have my hand, he had my back. - Linda Poindexter

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

To a father growing old, nothing is dearer than a daughter. - Euripides

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

I'm a father; that's what matters most. Nothing matters more. - Gordon Brown

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. - The Princess Bride

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. - Jim Valvano

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

One day you look in the mirror and realize the face you are shaving is your father's. - Robert Harris

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison

She did not stand alone, but what stood behind her, the most potent moral force in her life, was the love of her father. - Harper Lee

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

A father is neither an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way. - Unknown

My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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18-Apr-2021