Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

All is fair in love and golf. - American Proverb

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra

My father could be very witty, even if the humor was always on the darker side of irony. - Maurice Sendak

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

One day you look in the mirror and realize the face you are shaving is your father's. - Robert Harris

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

I'm 42 around the chest, 52 around the waist, 92 around the golf course, and a nuisance around the house. - Groucho Marx

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

How much more grand is the work of our Heavenly Father as he pulls together all the varied strands of life to reveal his grand design? - Ravi Zacharias

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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28-May-2020