A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a
catch.”
“What catch?”
The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.
“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.
“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always
wanted to donate a kidney!”
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope
Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright
The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb
Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King
A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying
Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner
Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker
Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry G Bohn
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall
Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner
Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown
If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo
Layers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
People who use lawyers are not people you would really want to hang around with. - Deborah Ross
May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant
Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela
A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P Brougham
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn
Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot
Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison
Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato
Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne
Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright
The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies. - Arabian Proverb
Lawyers are fleas on the hide of human nature. - Stephen King
A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying
Where there's a will there's a lawsuit. - Addison Mizner
Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker
Lawyers and painters can soon change white to black. - Henry G Bohn
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall
Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner
Good lawyers know the law. Great lawyers know the judge. - Unknown
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown
If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens
What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown
Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson
A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy
Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis
A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo
Layers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished. - Jeremy Bentham
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
People who use lawyers are not people you would really want to hang around with. - Deborah Ross
May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant
Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela
A lawyer is a gentleman that rescues your estate from your enemies and then keeps it to himself. - Henry P Brougham
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn
Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward
The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot
Lawyers are like cheeses. There are lots of good ones, but not everybody likes the taste of some or can afford the best of others. - Robin Ellison
Music is amoral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything. - Plato
see also Genie & Lawyer Sections
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Blonde Men
Bottomless Mug
Cinderella Joe-kette
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Emu Order
Fertile Land
Ostrich Genie
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26-May-2020 |