A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a
catch.”
“What catch?”
The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.
“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.
“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always
wanted to donate a kidney!”
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden
Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot
Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson
OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker
A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman
I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North
Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams
Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy
Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel
The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren
Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner
It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Lawyers generally know too much of law to have a very clear perception of justice. - Eliza Cook
Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle
Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton
The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn
Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest. - Sri Chinmoy
Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams
Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot
Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda
Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown
A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot
Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson
OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker
A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard
Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson
What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman
I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North
Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart
Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams
Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy
Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel
The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren
Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner
It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken
Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer
Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings
Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown
Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown
I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny
You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Lawyers generally know too much of law to have a very clear perception of justice. - Eliza Cook
Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle
Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton
The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn
Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey
Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest. - Sri Chinmoy
Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis
If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams
Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot
Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda
see also Genie & Lawyer Sections
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31-Jul-2021 |