Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Judge me when you are perfect. - Unknown

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

A lawyer and a cart wheel must be greased. - John R Beard

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Robert Christy

Lawyers are ideological enemies of informal justice. - Richard L Abel

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Ignorance of the law excuses no man from practicing it. - Addison Mizner

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Lawyers generally know too much of law to have a very clear perception of justice. - Eliza Cook

Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe. - Dalai Lama

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

Lawyers are the only civil delinquents whose judges must of necessity be chosen from themselves. - Charles C Colton

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest. - Sri Chinmoy

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it. - Scott Adams

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never utter these words: 'I do not know this, therefore it is false.' One must study to know; know to understand; understand to judge. - Apothegm of Narda


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31-Jul-2021